Grieving

The death of someone close to us is one of life’s most stressful events. It takes time to heal and each of us responds differently. Grieving is not orderly and you may need help to cope, but in the end, coping effectively is vital to your mental health.

Mourning and the complex stages of the grieving process are necessary and it takes time. The period of grieving varies greatly from person to person. Grieving is not a weakness; it is a necessity. Refusing to grieve is not courageous and may cause you a great deal of harm later on both emotionally and physically.

The grief process has many stages, but most people do not usually flow from the first stage to the last in a logical order. Some people will jump back and forth between stages and the length of time it takes to go through the stages will vary.

• shock and denial – feeling emotionally numb


• anger – it’s unfair, you may be mad at yourself (for not being kinder) or mad at the deceased (for leaving you etc.)


• guilt – blaming yourself or feeling like you are losing emotional control


• feeling dragged down – the blues or the blahs or even experiencing the signs and symptoms of depression


• loneliness – really missing the person (it’s time to reach out to others)


• hope – you will reach a stage where you can focus on your future

First a person is in numbness or shock. It can feel like you are “sleepwalking” through life and it may last several weeks or longer; then there is a time of disorganization when feelings begin to come alive again, but it may be hard to focus and make sense of life; and eventually, the re-organization happens. A great hurt is never completely forgotten; rather it takes its place among life’s other, more immediate demands.

Living with loss means that you are taking care of your emotional needs. Some suggestions on coping: Be with caring people; express your feelings; take enough time; accept a changed life; take care of your physical health; support others in their grief; come to terms with your loss; make a new beginning; Postpone major life changes (if you just can’t think clearly); Reach out for help – call Mental Health America of Licking County at 740-522-1341 or email me: paddykutz@alink.com for referrals.

Helping Children Grieve: Children who experience a major loss may grieve differently than adults. A child’s sense of security or survival may be affected. Often, they are confused about the changes they see taking place around them, particularly if well-meaning adults try to protect them from the truth.

Limited understanding and an inability to express feelings put very young children at a special disadvantage. Young children may revert to earlier behaviors (such as bed-wetting), ask questions about the deceased that seem insensitive, invent games about dying or pretend that the death never happened.

Coping with a child’s grief puts added strain on a bereaved parent. However, angry outbursts or criticism only deepen a child’s anxiety and delays recovery. Instead, talk honestly with children in terms they can understand. Take extra time to talk with them about death and the person who has died. Explain to them what happens next such as burial and memorial services, and take time to answer questions. Help them work through their feelings and remember that they are looking to adults for suitable behavior.

Helping others Grieve: To help someone who has lost a loved one, you can help them through the grieving process.

• Share the sorrow – allow them, even encourage them – to talk about their feelings of loss and share memories of the deceased.


• Don’t offer false comfort – it doesn’t help the grieving person when you say “it was for the best” or “you’ll get over it in time” or “they are in a better place now.” Instead, offer a simple expression of sorrow and take time to listen.


• Offer practical help – baby-sitting, cooking and running errands are ways to help someone who is in the midst of grieving.


• Be patient – remember that it can take a long time to recover from a loss. Make yourself available to talk.


• Encourage professional help when necessary. Don’t hesitate to recommend professional help when you feel someone is experiencing too much pain to cope alone.

Profound emotional reactions may occur. These reactions may include anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue, and/or depression. The death of a loved one is always difficult. Mourning is the natural process you go through to accept a major loss. Remember, it takes time to fully absorb the impact of a loss. You never stop missing your loved one, but the pain eases after time and allows you to go on with your life.

--Paddy Kutz
Executive Director
Mental Health America of Licking County

Burning the Candle

Ending poverty in Licking County is a lofty goal, I realize. There are a lot of reasons to not bother even trying.

For one thing, it's hard to keep your candle lit long enough to light the way. But, after meeting last Tuesday night with 8 volunteers committed to rolling up their sleeves to get to work on solutions to poverty, I believe we can make a serious dent in Licking County in my lifetime. Today my candle is burning more brightly.

These volunteers were 6 women from the Missionary Social Action Committee (M-SAC) at the Granville First Baptist Church, along with 2 other volunteers I invited. They came to an orientation meeting for people who want to serve on a team (called a Circle) that helps a low-income parent and his or her family to escape from poverty or near poverty.

The low-income parent serves as the Circle Leader and the other Circle members, called Allies, are people from the business and faith communities, along with others who want to make a difference. While the Circle Leader is learning skills and strategies about becoming financially stable, the Allies are learning about poverty in our community and its causes from the real experts (people in poverty).

Our Circle leaders will be people who have graduated from our Getting Ahead in a Just-Gettin'-By World classes. (18 sessions that can change lives.) Over the last 3 years, about 100 people have graduated from these classes.

Okay, 8 of us at a Granville church may not sound like a big number. But if you'd been there, you'd have felt the energy, commitment and creativity that flowed through the room. My scalp literally tingled with some of the stories and ideas I heard there.

The Circle goes beyond bringing that particular family out of poverty. They look for strategies that will make all of Licking County financially stable. That means working together to ensure good jobs, education, healthcare, housing, law enforcement, and other services that keep the ship afloat and able to weather any storms. If the level of poverty causes a leak in our boat, the whole boat sinks. We need each other.

There's is one tiny hiccup. We haven't raised the money (yet) to make Circles happen. But I'm working on finding grants and I've got help--our Volunteer Brigade is awesome.

Call me at 788-0300 or e-mail me at JudithAllee@MHALC.org if you are:
. a low-income parent who wants to enroll in Getting Ahead
. someone who wants to work on solutions for poverty
. a business person who wants to save costs and increase productivity by increasing retention rates for entry-level workers, helping them and their families to climb out of poverty
. someone with an interest in reducing dropout rates for low-income high school and college students

Or if you want to join a rowdy group of people who fix cars on weekends. Or if you can fix up old computers so that kids in poverty can keep up in school. Or if you like researching or writing grants.

Or if you . . .well, you tell me where your gifts and passions lie, and we will find a way to plug you in. You can learn more about Getting Ahead and other MHA services by surfing our website, www.MHALC,org, or by visiting www.VolunteerMatch.org to learn more about a wide range of volunteer opportunities. You can also visit www.MoveTheMountain.org to learn more about the Circles initiative.

--Judith Allee
Parent Support Coordinator

Tradition

One of the aspects of the holidays that I love best is all of the traditions that emerge or evolve. I had fun freezing the tip of my nose off as my fiancé and I hung lights on our house. I had fun tromping through the snow to cut down a tree to put in our house this past weekend. I had fun hanging ornaments on said tree, even though the pine needles turned my fingers into splotchy red pincushions. I also had fun creating a new tradition. For the first time ever, I made Wassail.

One of my fiancé’s favorite traditions is holiday shopping. The stores and malls come alive over the holiday season, suddenly turning normally cheerful people into cranky shoppers barreling through the aisles with their carts demanding to know why the toy they were after is not in stock. Although buying presents for others is a wonderful tradition during the holidays, we must remember that it is the spirit of giving to others and not the actual gift that is important. With the economy heading south for the winter (and who knows when it will be back…we may see the return of the Canadian geese in the spring before the strength of our economy returns) gift-giving for some people may be limited or not even possible.

We must remember that there are other traditions to take part of during the holidays, and these traditions can be something as simple and free as writing nice notes on pieces of paper and leaving them in the mailboxes of friends and neighbors, or volunteering your time at a local non-profit organization, or building snowmen, or making strings of popcorn to decorate, or making homemade cards, or…the possibilities really are endless.

Even if you do not have any traditions, find something relaxing to do as often as you can to help relieve some of the stress you are feeling, and know that you are not alone! If you or someone you know has thoughts of suicide, please call either Pathways at 2-1-1 (or 345-HELP) or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

--Brittany Schumann
Suicide Prevention Coordinator

Families Are Like Opinions

With wars, recession and a sleigh-full of uncertainty, holiday spirit has been in short supply this year. Each night, the inflatable Homer Simpson as Santa comes to life in my neighborhood, but the grim sense that a larger and more menacing inflatable Mr. Burns is just around the corner is never too far away.

For just about as long as I can remember, the holidays have made me a nervous wreck.

We had the tree and the stockings, the presents and the toys, but the centerpiece of every Christmas was the dinner. Because we lived in a small house, our family always went either to the home of my aunt’s family or to that of my uncle. So instead of the anticipatory preparation of turkey and fixings, there was the dread associated with getting into scratchy clothes and snow boots for the drive to dinner.

My parents were of the cocktail generation and so once the coats were hung up and the “what did you get for Christmas-es” were dispensed with, the kids were dispatched to the television room not to return until dinner was served. My father was fond of saying that “children should be seen and not heard” and so we quickly learned our roles at these gatherings.

All of the cousins were just enough older than either my brother or me that we never had all that much in common to talk about. At these gatherings we would still be sitting at the kids table while they were able to sit with the adults.

Among my clearest memories about these gatherings was the laughter. The meal would begin with an old English tradition of opening Christmas crackers. These are tube-shaped paper novelties that contain a paper cap, a small toy such as used to be included in Cracker Jack boxes, a paper hat, and a piece of paper with a merry joke or riddle. (“Q: How do you stop a charging rhino? A: Take away his credit card.”)

Once the multi-colored paper hats were in place, the adults table would take turns reading their joke over the sharp-tongued critiques of the others. A small laugh initiated by the old joke would become a belly laugh when “topped” with some sarcastic remark about the joke teller, or some reference to an incident from the past that cast them in a bad or embarrassing light.

The challenge for anyone wishing to join in the conversation was that they had to be loud enough to seize any gap in the conversation and they had to be funny. And once you had everyone’s attention, there was no room for any kind of uncertainty. You either had something to say, or you didn’t and if you fumbled then that only provided more grist for the comedy mill.

It was kind of like the celebrity roasts that show up on television from time to time. There was not as much bleeping, but the tone was the same. It was not an environment for the faint of heart. Bringing an outsider to the table was a real test of the strength of your relationship. If they came back, it was a sign of the promise of the relationship and if they participated in the comedic free-fire zone and were funny then that was a whole different ballgame.

From my vantage point at the kids table, my cousins all seemed really smart. They could give just as well, or better, than they got, they were laser-accurate in their observations and they all seemed to enjoy the game. They made it seem effortless and like something you would want to be a part of.

By the time I was old enough to sit at the adults table, many of my cousins were no longer coming home for the holidays and I discovered that I had neither the confidence nor the ability to participate in the conversation.

There’s another old riddle that goes, “What’s the secret of comed--? Timing!”

If I have any skill telling a joke—a question frequently debated—it was hard-earned. Even reading the lame Christmas cracker riddles, it was far too easy to misplace the emphasis and lose the joke. And when I did, my loving family was right there to point it out. (Perhaps I should have read more into the fact that those paper hats never fit me....)

As children, we only ever know what we know and so we don’t often have the luxury of seeing our situation for what it is. Often it takes an outsider to tell you that you are having a hard time, or that your environment is toxic. The work I do now is based on this idea.

Still, family is complicated. It’s not destiny—we’re not all doomed to be just like our parents, cousins, etc.—but it is complicated. It’s years later and I don’t go home as much as I used to. I’m not as close to my family as I would like to think but if I don’t go home, I don’t have any relationship with them at all.

Families are like opinions: everybody’s got one and everyone thinks their’s is the most screwed up. There’s no question that some are better than others, but there’s help available to work on those relationships, or how you respond to them. Mental Health America exists to connect people with resources to improve their mental health, including their family ties. If we can help you, please give us a call.

Please accept my best wishes for a safe and healthy holiday season.

--Graham Campbell
Associate Director

I Love My Job

by Judith Allee,

Parent Support Coordinator

I love my job. You would, too. I teach a class called Getting Ahead for parents who are within 200% of the federal poverty level. During class, each class member creates his or her own personal plan to escape from poverty. It's fun and exciting to see the innovative solutions these parents create for themselves and their families.

There is a lot of thinking, processing and decision-making involved and the work can be overwhelming. It is an exciting program that offers real hope for change. Below I am pasting in some personal stories about our graduates that you might enjoy.

Getting Ahead Stories
Marilyn, a graduate of the Getting Ahead class with diabetes and clinical depression, got a 25-cent-an-hour raise at Meijers, triggering a slash in food stamps, housing, childcare and the loss of her medical card. To escape poverty, she must figure out how to earn not a little more—which left her worse off than before—but a lot more.

Employers can be part of the solution, and they can save money at the same time. For example, Cascade Engineering used Bridges Out of Poverty strategies to increase retention of entry-level employees from 29% to 69% by addressing barriers to work, like childcare, transportation, and domestic violence. By significantly lowering costs through better retention, Cascade was able to "do well by doing good." Locally, by partnering with St. Vincent de Paul and other organizations, we hope to add CirclesTM to our Getting Ahead program. A national initiative affiliated with Getting Ahead, Circles matches a team of volunteers from business and faith communities with Getting Ahead graduates. The Circle works with them until they are completely out of poverty.

As for Marilyn? She got out from under payday lenders, got her bills caught up, and opened a direct-deposit savings account for $5 a paycheck.

We have had about 100 Getting Ahead graduates since 2006. Here are some of their stories:

• A., 27, (graduated in June 2007) has gotten her GED and started college for nursing. Her children were temporarily removed due to a boyfriend's drug use and production. He's now in prison. She has completed her case plan with Children's Services and now has custody of 2 of her children and is regularly visiting the other 2 children. She volunteers to speak for Getting Ahead classes and helps other women formulate their plan.
• M., 30+ (June 2006), took a hard look at the colored pie-chart she made to represent her budget. By making it a visual mental model, she realized what a large chunk was eaten up by cigarettes in a way that numbers didn't. She set the goal of quitting, but her first few attempts failed. However, on Jan. 1, 2007, she quit smoking and has been smoke free ever since. That helped make it financially possible for her to maintain the home she purchased for herself and her daughter, despite having only social security disability income. She speaks regularly to GA classes, stressing the many hidden rules she encounters, and she was the MHA Parent Support 2007 Volunteer of the Year for her work teaching parenting classes, volunteering to teach classes in the jail, and helping to mentor parents in Getting Ahead classes.
• L., 45+ (June 2006), made it her goal to establish an emergency fund, despite living on disability income due to multiple schlerosis. She also made a point of building her social resources by connecting with people from college she had lost touch with. She was surprised to see that the class enabled her to build resources even though she is unable to increase her income. She, too, speaks to GA classes and mentors people in making their plans and she teaches parenting classes and volunteers as a nursing home ombudsman.
• B., in her mid-20s (grad. In June 2007), has entered the Individual Development Account, a first-time home buyers program. She is in process of improving her credit score so that she will qualify for a 2 to 1 dollar match for a down payment.
• B., late 20s (graduated June 2006), has returned to college and is planning to become an advocate for people with mental illness in order to honor a relative who disappeared without a trace. She credits GA with that plan and with numerous changes in her thinking and in her life.
• Fatina Evans (June 2007) and Stephanie Duffy (Dec. 2006), are current co-facilitators of our Getting Ahead classes. Fatina, Stephanie and T. (Dec. 2006) became AmeriCorps workers as part of their personal Getting Ahead plans. As a result they were able to teach GA classes and provide one-on-one financial coaching and tax preparation for GA members and grads. T. completed one year of AmeriCorps working with first-time home buyers; this qualified her to receive a $4000 award toward college. Stephanie is in her second AmeriCorps year (which will result in an $8000 award toward college, where she plans to go into social work). Fatina is in her first year of AmeriCorps, assigned to Mental Health America. She also provides financial literacy classes at the Licking County Jail.
  
• Fatina is the new "point person" for the initiative to bring CirclesTM to Licking County. She is helping to bring about a collaboration of organizations in Licking County with the goal of raising $25,000 over 3 years to establish the Circles. Circles would offering mentoring to Getting Ahead graduates. Each grad selected for Circle would become a Circle leader for a team of 3-6 allies from the middle class who would meet weekly for 18 months. The team's purpose is to access each members own networks in the community, brainstorm on planning and resources, and to bring the family completely out of poverty.
• C., 50+, (Dec. 2006), and J., 40+ (a current class member), who were already AmeriCorps workers, entered Getting Ahead classes, creating a viral effect in the community as they provide free financial coaching and tax preparation with a better understanding of the hidden rules.
• S., in her 30's and a survivor of domestic violence, applied for college while attending Getting Ahead. She has started classes toward nursing, despite little or no emotional support for her decision.
• S., 45+, a current GA member who serves on village council in a rural area, has proposed that two rural communities consider banning or regulating payday lending. Her advocacy has not yet resulted in action as yet, but she's not done yet!
• M., in her 30s (grad. Fall 2006), chose to work on being more healthy as a part of her Getting Ahead plan. She took a hard look at why her diet wasn't working, despite sticking to a stringent diet and exercise program. Feeling amazed and foolish, she realized she wasn't counting on the effect of calories from alcohol, and decided to stop drinking. She had always assumed she could quit, but it wasn't that easy, That's when she realized she was an alcoholic. She has spent the last year focusing on her sobriety.

Numerous GA grads and current members report that

1. They are using daily planning tools consistently for the first time in their lives and that it helps them keep moving toward their goals and reduces their stress and sense of being caught in the "tyranny of the moment" that keeps people stuck. They also report that they are better able to keep track of the numerous social work and health-related appointments that people in poverty have, so they can receive the help they need to move ahead.
2. They are more likely to make their voices heard. One graduate, for example, told the social service workers in her life that she intended to become a Getting Ahead success story and wanted to interview the people who support her effort over the next few years so she can write about it later. It's true. But this approach has had an impact on her relationship with those workers and on how seriously she is taken.

Spreading the Love

The YES Club teenagers have been real busy lately. We are forming a singing group, we have been working on acts of kindness, such as: our PEACE RALLY march, reaching out to a fifteen year old girl who is dealing with cancer, and next we will be going to Granville to ask for Thanksgiving donation items, and then we will share them with some of our wonderful families. Yes Club is a great place to be- and we represent peace, love, service and most of all-FAMILY.

Here is a link to a recent story in the Newark Advocate about our PEACE rally.

http://www.newarkadvocate.com/article/20081117/UPDATES01/81117045/1051/COMMUNITIES01

PAVE Helping Families Helping Families

Well, the weather has officially changed. Now that Ohio has seen its first snow, many people are preparing for the holiday season. As PAVE coordinator, I am exposed to children and teens on a daily basis. I have noticed that many of the children do not look forward to the holidays like “most” people. The children may not have money, may be a foster child, or just have a bad memory from past holidays. I think it is important that people share the gifts they have with others all the time, but most importantly during the holiday season. The PAVE program has decided to participate in the Families Helping Families program through the Licking County Job and Family Services that buys gifts for needy families, so that parents have something to give to their children on Christmas. I think service learning projects, like gift giving, allow children see how powerful and rewarding giving back to people can be. I am glad that The PAVE club has the chance to participate in the program to share our gifts with some of the people that need the most.

The 2008 holiday season is probably going to be rough on many people. With a very weak economy, very high unemployment rate, or whatever else people might be facing, I encourage those of us that have the ability to make this holiday season better for someone else to do so. You may never know how much of an impact you can have one someone by sending them a card, or just wishing them happy holidays.

For more information on the Families Helping Families program, please contact Job & Family Services at 740-670-8999.

--Ashley Shaw
PAVE Coordinator

Since last week was the time for ghosts, goblins, and other creatures with Trick or Treating through the town, it is another opportunity to remind folks about keeping our kids safe. I recall running all around my neighborhood as a princess or gypsy collecting all the candy the neighbors would pass out when I was young. I’m sure that one of my parents must have been with me at some point, but I can’t seem to remember how old I was when they stopped accompanying me. I remember how the other kids would stay out late so we could enjoy the last warm evenings as summer faded into fall playing “Ghost in the Graveyard”. Watching the new church building taking shape and playing “King of the Hill” on the huge mounds of dirt was the best for good, “clean” fun.

All that seems so long ago. Today you can’t play in those building sites – liability issues, the threat of thefts of materials and more prohibit using those areas as makeshift playgrounds. Children today may not know their neighbors well enough to run through their yards at night for fear of being attacked by their dogs or maybe the fear of being shot. And trick or treat? Best not be tricking anybody for the same reasons! Instead we can take our children to the mall or on the square. Maybe we find churches offering a harvest or fall celebration, or “trunk or treat” as alternatives. When did the joy start slipping away from childhood? Not that these are bad alternatives, but when did being a child become so dangerous that these alternatives became necessary? When did we lose sight of who are neighbors truly are?

How could anyone hurt a child, an innocent? Yet we know it happens all too often. We have to work harder at being aware parents. Aware neighbors. Aware of how we as a member of our village can help raise a safe, healthy, successful child. Do you recall thinking as a child, “I can’t wait to grow up and get out of this place!” I did – to an extent. It seems though, that the older I became, the more I wanted to return here. When I became a parent, I knew I wanted my children to grow up in Licking County. I remembered the vibrant leaves changing, the beautiful snowfalls, the bags of candy (and it was the good stuff!) and the sense of community at Halloween. I remember Santa coming to Southgate a few weeks later and greeting me in his temporary house. There I was in line with so many other exuberant children, feeling so safe in my community. Let’s be parents, neighbors and families that truly represent “community” in the best sense of the word and watch out for the safety of every child we encounter. We can’t afford to turn our backs on those children, because all too soon, they grow up to become our teachers, our doctors, our firefighters, our neighbors. A safe and healthy childhood is what every child deserves.

--Jan GreenRiver

Dir. of Prevention & Programs

My Odyssey in Mental Illness

I spent the first five years recognizing the symptoms, then the next twenty years fighting the disease and getting on with my working life, my social life and, most of all, my faith.

I wanted to work because I didn’t want to be on social security for the rest of my life and not have anything to show for it, like a home, a car and other pleasures. To strengthen my self mentally, morally and mostly spiritually, I wanted to build my faith on the wisdom of the Bible and other literature.

Then I joined Schizophrenia Anonymous and realized that I had accomplished those goals. About five years ago I received the Mental Health America Consumers of the Year award from my mentors in the Agency; and now I’m setting new goals in work, school, and faith-based endeavors to help others overcome their afflictions.

--Sam Irvin

Battle with Schizophrenia

I have a birth defect called bilateral ptosis which I was tormented by others while in school, but I learned to have faith in God to get me through the pain and it prepared me for the future battle with schizophrenia.

The battle with schizophrenia started for me as a young adult in college and my career on the railroad. It started like it always does to people. I was having delusions of grandeur then the hallucinations started—audio and visual. I was tormented by voices, I thought people were playing games with me and hardly ever got a decent night’s sleep.

I must have lived like this for five years trying to work, go to school and do volunteer work in the community, but it all came crashing down around me. I started going to counseling for depression, the more I talked, the more it was obvious I had a far larger problem. So the therapist talked me into talking to a doctor of psychiatry, Dr. Kim. He gave me a script for tranquilizers and anti-anxiety medication.

My recovery has been better than expected, I believe, because I now am working a steady job at Ohio State University as a janitor. My education has had to take a back seat to work and family commitments and I am a member of Mental Health America. It’s been the best volunteer experience to me than the railroad work I did.

To sum up, my faith in God and a positive attitude on the future have pulled me through.

--Sam Irvin

Cobbler's Children

My grandfather, an electrician for Pennsylvania Railroads, never seemed to get around to completing the wiring in his own home, where he and my grandmother raised five children. The wires were looped onto nails and the switches didn't get boxes until he died, at which point my grandmother hired someone to do it. It was a case of "the cobbler's children get no shoes," according to my grandmother.

In the same way, I sometimes catch myself doing a poor job of caring for my own mental health, even though I've learned a lot about mental health by working at MHA for 11 years.

For example, I tend to scarf down my lunch at the computer instead of taking a lunch break. It seems that I will get more done that way, but research says I would probably get more done (and have to re-do fewer things) if I would take regular breaks from my desk.

I need to exercise, eat right, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and find healthy ways to deal with stress to stay healthy, and that includes being mentally healthy.

I need to keep my work area and home a pleasurable place to be in; mess is depressing. I need to make time to spend with my family and friends. Come to think of it, those are the same things I suggest to parents and others that I work with at MHA.

So, I'm going to publicly state my goals for the next few months:

• Start a success team for 4-6 people to meet with me weekly. We will brainstorm with each other about problems and solutions and share goals and successes


• Start an acoustic jam session once a month to get more music back in my life

I invite you to ask me about those goals if we talk. I don't know if it's mentally healthy or not, but for me, fear of mortification is a powerful incentive for following through and a disincentive against procrastination.

Happy trails,

Judith Allee

Parent Support Coordinator

Three Noses

When I first applied for the position as Suicide Prevention Coordinator, I told several of my close acquaintances. When I got the interview, I told more people about the job. Since my first day on the job, I have told even more people about my job.

Nearly every time I tell someone that I am the Suicide Prevention Coordinator at Mental Health America of Licking County, I am given either strange or sympathetic looks. (Thankfully, I do get the occasional look of admiration, along with the comment that I am doing very tough work.) At first, I understood why people I knew gave me the looks of sympathy or fear. Suicide is one of the last taboos in America. We can freely talk about sex, pedophilia, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, and abortion. But mention suicide, and people take several steps back, like you’ve just grown a second nose.

This is why I have a job. Since people don’t talk to their friends, parents, children, and so on about suicide, not many people know the truth about it. Unfortunately, this also means that the rate of suicide in America is still alarmingly high. Most of the completed suicides stem from mental illness, most often depression. Depression is a treatable brain disorder (another word for mental illness). Logically, this means that suicide is preventable if depression is caught early enough. Having just attended Gatekeeper training with the Ohio Suicide Prevention Foundation, I would like to impart some of my knowledge about how to prevent suicide to you.

When we encounter stressful or threatening situations in our lives, our brain (three pounds of protoplasm housed in our skulls) helps protect us. With the way the economy and politics are going, more Americans will be facing stressful and threatening situations in their lives. Our brain, or more specifically, our amygdala, releases three different hormones that are related to fight-or-flight. We become equipped to either stand up for ourselves (fight) or escape the danger (flight).

• Testosterone is what gives us strength in our muscles to either fight or run away.



• Epinephrine (also known as adrenaline) moves blood flow from body functions that are not necessary for the fight-or-flight response, like digestion, to our muscles and brain.



• Cortisol soothes the body after fight or flight has taken place. (Ever used hydroCORTISONE cream to make swelling go away?)

There is only one problem. These days, none of us are chased by saber-toothed tigers or giant wooly mammoths; instead, we sit at our desks or on our couches, and when stressful or threatening situations occur, we don’t use up the testosterone, epinephrine or cortisol that are released into our system. As beneficial as these hormones are to our body, too much of them in our system destroy little things in our brains called neurons. Most often, the neurons in the part of our brain that stores short-term memory, mood and emotions, the hippocampus, are affected. The breaking down of the neurons that determine our emotions and moods causes people to become depressed.

Like I mentioned earlier, 90% of people who die by suicide suffer from some form of brain disorder (mental illness), mostly depression. Depression, like other mental illnesses (thanks, Kristen!), is highly treatable with medications and therapy. If we begin to screen everyone for depression, we can catch it, treat it, and prevent suicides.

I do hope that one day, I work myself out of a job, but there is much work to be done until then.

Oh yeah, and exercise as much as you can, and you can help save your neurons from destruction!

--Brittany Schumann

Suicide Prevention Coordinator

Badges

When the phone rings at Mental Health America of Licking County it’s generally because someone needs help. Sometimes that help takes the form of redirecting the caller who may have called us by mistake, but many times people call MHA because they know something is wrong and they don’t know how to make it right.

I have a scar over my left eye. I like to tell people that I got from a motorcycle accident. I know people who attribute their crows feet to experience and their furrowed brows to their children and their laugh lines to their grandchildren. These are the badges, the benchmarks of lives lived and experiences collected. We all have them: some of us show them off and some of us go to extraordinary lengths to conceal them.

But when it comes to the health of our brains it seems that most of us would prefer to remain undercover in the belief that if the rest of the world can’t see our badges, then our identity is protected.

This was brought to mind by a call we recently received. A mother called out of love and concern for her son who experiencing some behavioral challenges. She knew something was not right, but did not know how to make it right.

After talking with a member of the MHA staff, it seemed pretty clear that her son was experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia. She was advised to seek help from a mental health professional to get a diagnosis and to initiate treatment. We offered to provide her with some educational materials about the disease and other resources.

The mother responded that her husband didn’t want his son to know anything about schizophrenia.

This was an issue of concern for us because schizophrenia has a genetic component.

The mother disclosed that there were several cases of schizophrenia in her husband’s family.

Like with so many mental illnesses, great advances have been made in the diagnosis and treatment of schizophrenia—much of it within the last decade—but the father seems to think that with no diagnosis there is no illness. It’s kind of like thinking that you can’t be overdrawn at the bank if you still have checks in your checkbook.

Among a range of challenges that we face in confronting mental illness, the most persistent and yet most addressable one is stigma. Sooner or later we are each forced to admit that flawless beauty and perfect health are ideals and yet we stubbornly cling to this notion that our brains are always 100% healthy. Life takes its toll on the brain just as much, if not more so than on the rest of the body.

When someone asks me about my scar, I have an opportunity to tell a funny story. The badges caused from a mental illness can also become opportunities, but we first have to recognize and accept them.

--Graham Campbell
Associate Director

Coming Out

A year ago this month, I came out. Not in the traditional sense of the word, I did not announce that I was gay. I told my parents and my friends, (and only some of my friends) that I have a mental illness.

This is National Mental Illness Awareness Week. It is also the time of year that Mental Health America prepares for its Annual Awards Dinner which will be held this year on November 13. Last year, I was recognized with a great honor, as Consumer of the Year. Before the announcement was made, Paddy Kutz, the Executive Director of the agency, where I was then a volunteer, asked me into her office.

When Paddy first asked me if I would feel comfortable accepting this recognition and the fact that it would require me to acknowledge my role as a consumer, I was a bit hesitant. I had not yet come out to my family and friends. I was concerned that people would only see me as my diagnosis and not be able to discern where it left off and my personality began.

A few people I told warned me that I would never be able to find work again, once the secret of my diagnosis was out. I would be socially ostracized. My husband and I like dogs better than most people, so I wasn’t really worried about that.

People have told me to say that I have anxieties-that I experience depression. Both of these statements are true. My friends were concerned that if I told my whole diagnosis, I would suffer social bias and additional fallout from the stigma of having a serious mental illness.

I decided that that I needed to address the stigma of mental illness in our community. So, I decided to state that I am a person who experiences bipolar disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I feel strongly that it is important to show yet another face of mental illness, to demonstrate that there are many faces of mental illness in our community and they belong to someone you know.

Mental Health America served 1 in six individuals in the county last year, that’s you or someone you know.

An equal number of men and women develop bipolar disorder and it occurs among all ages, ethnic groups and social classes. Approximately 2.5 million Americans live with this disorder, but the number of people affected is even greater.

People living with bipolar disorder experience alternating episodes of mania (severe highs), depression (severe lows) and mixed states, which contain elements of both.
If left untreated, people with bipolar disorder are at great risk for suicide, substance abuse, incarceration, and other harmful consequences. The mortality rate for people with untreated bipolar disorder is higher than it is for most types of heart disease and many types of cancers.

But with accurate diagnosis and treatment, people with bipolar disorder have better treatment success rates than people with heart disease. Essential components of the treatment process for people living with bipolar disorder include medication, psychotherapy, support groups, and education about the illness. It is estimated that 80 percent to 90 percent of people with bipolar disorder can be treated effectively with medication and psychotherapy.

Raising awareness of bipolar disorder is an important step towards promoting early detection and accurate diagnosis, which is why the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) created Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day, scheduled this year for Thursday, October 9.

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that two percent of the U.S. population or one in 40 people experience Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, in their lifetime. That is two to three times more common than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

Many people are familiar with the television series Monk, and its detective with his own form of OCD, but there are many manifestations of obsessive-compulsive disorder and individuals suffer to various degrees.

You never see successful people with bipolar disorder on TV or Film.

Bipolar disorder has caused the most serious episodes in my life, but even with years of treatment, OCD continues to cause me the most daily problems.

I thought that I would try to explain to you what is like to experience OCD, and then I realized that I cannot. Just as I cannot explain to my husband why the simple task of choosing a restaurant for lunch has frequently reduced me to tears, why I can’t eat at a salad bar or buffet, or an office party, why I can’t leave my dog over night, or have people in my house or the host of other rules that govern my daily life.

My husband, Graham, has patiently stood by me for 20 years, confused but supportive, as the rules change suddenly without explanation, it is one of the many reasons I adore him.

I’d like to thank Paddy Kutz for her encouragement for helping me to find the voice to speak. I’d like to thank my parents for continuing to support me. And most of all, I’d like to thank Graham who stands by me no matter what I say.

If you or anyone you know are concerned about depression or anxiety, please contact the Mental Health America office for more information. There is help. And if you experience a mental illness, I urge you to tell someone you know. You may be surprised at their reaction. And they may be surprised to learn that the face of mental illness is not so frightening, it is their roommate, their daughter, their co-worker or friend.

--Kristen Frame

Compeer Coordinator

I Am Very Excited

My name is Ashley Shaw, and I am the new PAVE coordinator for Mental Health America of Licking County. I am very excited to be working in this agency and to have to have the position as coordinator.

Speaking of PAVE, it is up and running for the 2008-2009 school year and I am learning a lot. We (Jan and I) have already been in two schools and we have another one this week. I am still new at the curriculum, so I am doing a lot of learning myself. PAVE orientation was a couple weeks ago, and I think it went very well. There were a handful of new teens from area high schools whom I am excited to get to know. In addition to working with teens, we were excited to work with kids at Kid’s 1st Fest in Heath selling pop and lollipops during the treacherous wind storm that came through Ohio.

I am also excited to announce that we have a guest speaker coming in on 9/29, Teresa Flores, to speak about her personal experience being trafficked as a teen. I cannot wait to hear her speak, I think that she has a wonderful story to share, and that anyone willing to listen will benefit from it. Speaking of Teresa Flores, I recently finished the book she wrote about her experiences being trafficked as a human sex slave for two years, and I could not believe what I read. To think that trafficking is such a problem in the United States upsets me. Trafficking is a topic that is never talked about as being a problem in the United States, although it is a major one. I think it is a topic that more people need to be aware of, instead of thinking it is nonexistent. Because it seems to me that once a people become aware of a problem more can be done about it, instead of people simply not knowing.

Anyways, back to work related things. I have a lot of good volunteers coming from the area colleges (OSU-N and Denison) to train to become Respect Educators. I am really excited about the enthusiasm and determination that they are going to bring to the program. This year is going to be a great year for PAVE, and will keep you all updated!

Ashley Shaw

PAVE Coordinator

We Had a Mental Breakdown!

It was a beautiful day for a parade. The sun was out and there was a nice breeze. It was warm, but it wasn't August warm.

Volunteers from MHA, along with representatives from about 90 other organizations, had gathered in the field behind the newly-remodeled Wilson school for the Jaycees Community Parade for the United Way.

Through the generosity of the Kiwanis Club of Granville, MHA had an actual float to decorate. I don't speak fluent parade so I will probably use the wrong terminology, but this thing had gold fringe and red, white & blue tufted siding on the walls that lined the wagon that is used for hayrides in the off-season. At the back of the float was a wall that was ideally suited for the MHA banner.

MHA Board member, Dave Douglas had already had a full day by the time he arrived to pull the float for the parade. He began the morning in Granville by helping to assemble the float. He then delivered the float to the Wilson school staging area and then went home for a wash and brush-up and to give his vehicle a quick spruce-up. Like so many others, Mr. Douglas had been without power for most of the previous week.

To pull the float, Mr. Douglas brought his wife Pat's Jeep. It was not one of those station wagon style SUVs, but more like its famous military forebearer with a removeable soft top and sides. For being 9 years old, the Jeep was in immaculate shape and drew the attention of fellow enthusiast, Jude Hoover, who was also participating in the parade with his Jeep.

Throughout the morning, the field filled up with the vehicles and floats for the parade. What had been virtually empty at 10:00 am was quite crowded by noon and appeared to be overflowing by the time they stepped off at 2:00 pm.

As the field filled up, so too did the MHA float. In addition to staff members and youth participants in our YES and PAVE programs, Ms. Judi Watts, a member of the Board of Trustees, showed up to ride in the parade.

Responsible for keeping the parade organized were the marshals. They spent most of the morning zipping across the Wilson field in ATVs and talking into their chirping squirrel phones. Each new parade participant was assigned to a lettered column and, when the time came, that would dictate their place in the parade.

MHA was assigned to column D. We were to follow Newark City Council member Shirley Stare and be followed by Newark City Council member Rick Henderson.

At the appointed hour, the marshals gave the signal and, led by a color guard of police and military, the parade stepped off for its trip down Church St. to the Courthouse Square.

Mr. Douglas elected to take advantage of the Jeep's 4-wheel drive in order to pull the float into the street. It went smoothly into gear and when he reached the street, he went to shift out of 4-wheel drive and that's when it happened.

Mr. Douglas was able to shift out of 4-wheel, but because a pin dropped out of some place in the transmission linkage, he was unable to shift into anything else. So the float was in the street, but it couldn't go anywhere. With the rest of the parade passing us by, we literally had a mental breakdown.

Meanwhile, down on the Square, the first elements of the parade had reached Third St. and made the turn south toward the Square. There were cheerleaders and flag corps, politicians and candidates, local businesses and local United Way agencies. And then there was Ms. Stare, and then there was Mr. Henderson, and then there was the rest of the parade. And then there was a little panic.

A photographer had been assigned to capture the MHA float as it passed in front of Newark's courthouse. She knew when to expect the float and when she didn't see it, was certain that she must have missed it. How could they have passed her by without her noticing?

Fortunately, Mr. Douglas was able to reach his wife by phone and she brought their pick-up truck in to pull the float. The changeover was made and the MHA float, led by Paddy Kutz under her golf-size blue and white MHA umbrella, was the last unit in the parade.

We are very lucky to have been able to participate in the parade and more fortunate that we have the help of dedicated staff and volunteers to make these opportunities happen. Now that we know what to expect, we look forward to next year when we will finish closer to the front of the line.

Graham Campbell

Associate Director

Mental Health America of Licking County

We Are Family

Hi my name is Amanda Chalfant!

After being a student intern at the YES house, I realized that I wanted to continously work with teenagers, and help to be a positive role model and someone that they could relate to and come to for support. The YES Clubhouse is an ideal place to be, because I love that it recognizes that there is a need for teenagers to have a place where they can make positive decisions and start in the right path of living their lives to the fullest. What I also love is the location of the place and the population that is being served. Downtown Newark is central to many teenagers who are in direct need to have somewhere to go. I have lived in Newark all of my life and like to see the community work together to make this place a better place to live in. I see and talk with many of our teenagers at night and on weekends and I love that they not only feel comfortable with keeping contact with us, but also show an interest in being a part of our family. I personally think that it is important to relate with our teens, and I love playing and goofing off with them, but I also have their best interests in mind. My own personal vision for the YES Club is that it will continue on for many years, and it will grow, and hopefully other locations can branch off from YES.

I also wanted to touch on the new house- It is beautiful and we are so thankful and excited to know that there are many people in this community that respect and recognize how important our teenagers are! This community and all the great people that have put a helping hand in our home are also a part of our family. With the new home, 50-60 teenagers are walking in the doors and I personally know that this is why I walk in the door everyday. I love my job and love the teenagers, they are truly kids that deserve the best and my life has been enriched knowing that I have them a part of their life. So please come down and see us, and know that it takes a community to raise a family and our community is doing a great job in raising the YES FAMILY!!

Respectfully submitted,
Amanda Chalfant

Stormy Weather

What an amazing weekend we had here in Licking County. All the excitement in Heath last Friday, Hurricane Ike hitting down in Texas but it’s effects being felt all the way up here just a few hours later, Sunday’s Kid’s First Fest at Geller Park. Next weekend we have the Jaycee’s Parade. So much is going on for the children and youth in our community….but there is also so much violence to consider.

Whether it is intentional violence, acts of violence to hurt others, or the violence of Mother Nature, children are often anxious & unsure of how to deal with these situations. Parents need to be especially aware of the stress that their children may feel during difficult times. Don’t play off their fears, but take them seriously and talk openly about their feelings. All the events shown on television, about the war, the weather, or just nightly news and lame programming can truly affect the way we look at our world.

There are times when this anxiety is normal, even appropriate. Stress is not always a bad thing, but it can have lasting affects if not handled properly. Emotional and physiological reactions vary depending on a child’s age. The same holds true for adults. Most children can bounce back quickly with support in their homes, schools & communities. There are however, warning signs that should not be taken lightly and might indicate that professional intervention is necessary.

For children: be honest, provide reassurance about what they are witnessing and feeling. Help them make sense of what they see or hear. Do not criticize your child’s feelings, but encourage open discussions so your child can feel safe talking about them. Do not overexpose children to violent images.

Most importantly, never hesitate to seek professional help when needed. MHA provides many helpful services in Licking County: support groups, educational programming, advocacy and more. We want our children to be strong, safe and free, but we also want them to be empowered and aware of some of the negative aspects of every day life. Raising healthy, helpful children is such a chore but also such a blessing. Weare proud to be able to help – please check in with us if you have any questions about feeling too stressed, too overwhelmed or scared about the goings-on in our world. We are here to help you in bringing wellness home…

--Jan GreeRiver

Dir. of Prevention & Programs

Sloggin through Bloggin

Good mental health is always on the top of my mind and I want every Licking Countian to be there with me. After all, there is NO health without mental health. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all worked hard every day on our own wellness?

Mental Health must be integrated into physical health because, of course, the most important organ in the body is the brain. Your brain regulates everything including your thoughts and emotions. Brain health improves when you exercise, when you eat right and when you sleep right, but it also improves when you develop a positive attitude, build self esteem, when you get along with others and when you cope with stress appropriately.

That’s a big order, but it is all possible. Balancing life is up to you. Take charge of your surroundings. If you are falling short and can’t cope, reach out for help. It is United Way campaign time and the theme is “Live United.” Part of our financial support comes from the Licking County United Way and the funds raised are to help all citizens (men, women and children) to live full and productive lives.

Part of our financial support comes from the Community Mental Health & Recovery Board whose goal is to provide services to help people with mental health conditions, alcohol and other drug struggles. The services are available to help you; you pay for them (via donations or taxes), so use them. Call me if you need referrals for services at 740-522-1341 or call 211.

For 55 years we have been here to promote good mental health, provide education and prevention, and to advocate on behalf of those who need someone to stand up for them. Help us to do this by volunteering, sending a financial donation, attending our annual dinner meeting at Cherry Valley Lodge on November 13th at 6 pm ($20.00 per person).

Mental Health America of Licking County is Bringing Wellness Home by spreading the word that there is No health without mental health. Let me hear from you by calling or emailing to: paddykutz@alink.com.

Paddy Kutz
Executive Director

Volunteering for Good Mental Health

Fatina Evans is not your typical AmeriCorps volunteer. A strikingly beautiful mother of five and a new grandmother, Fatina could easily pass for any other college freshman. But Fatina will never be just any other freshman.

“Fatina is a very capable young woman with lots of experience and knowledge. She can change the world!” says friend and mentor Judith Allee.

Allee, Mental Health America’s Parent Support Coordinator, recommended Fatina for AmeriCorps, when Fatina was a student in Allee’s May 2007, “Getting Ahead in a Just Gettin’ By World” class. Fatina started with AmeriCorps, September 22, 2007.

AmeriCorps membership is open to U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents age 17 and older. Members serve full or part-time over a 10- to 12-month period. Upon successful completion of their service, members receive an AmeriCorps Education Award of up to $4,725 to pay for college, or graduate school, or to pay back qualified student loans. During their service, members receive health coverage, training, and student loan deferment. About half the members also receive a modest annual living allowance.

AmeriCorps is not for everyone. Fatina says that she would only recommend AmeriCorps to someone who had a dedication to volunteerism and to furthering their education, or for someone who needs to gain practical work experience.

As of September, Fatina will be able to pay off her student loans completely, and be prepared to continue her bachelor’s degree in IT studies at Capital University where she will reregister as a freshman next year.

But there is where her similarity to a typical student ends.

As an Americorp member, Fatina is a volunteer for Mental Health America. Evans has spent the past year co-facilitating “Getting Ahead in a Just Gettin’ By World” classes with Allee and coaching financial literacy classes. She has taught at the Sheryl L. Kraner, Esquire Behavioral Health Complex and at the Licking County Corrections Center. In her next AmeriCorps’ assignment, she will work closer to her child’s school, which is important to her. There, at Opportunity Links, she will continue to teach weekly budgeting classes and tax preparation, as well as the “Getting Ahead” class.

“I couldn’t begin to serve the community without the aid of the volunteers,” said Allee. “Fatina was a huge help, being a graduate of the classes, she understood them. The fact was, that she was transformed by the class.”

Evans sits with her children now and discusses finances and explains financial consequences to them, where she did not in the past. “My kids have noticed a difference, now they are more willing to work for money. If they want a $2 Dora the Explorer pencil and they squirt $2 worth of toothpaste into the sink, they’ve learned to save the toothpaste and the $2 to buy the pencil.”

“There is nothing about the participants that has surprised me,” says Evans, “What has surprised me, was how I was able to manage my home and my bills on my stipend. It was difficult.”

“The experience is a big sacrifice,” says Allee, “but it really pays off in all she has learned.”

Her job, Evans admits, was challenging. “There were times that were difficult, when people were not giving you full disclosure and you would wonder why.”

There are many reasons why people living in poverty do not fully disclose their financial situation, even to those who are trying to help them, says Evans. “Often they are in ‘Crisis’ or ‘Survival mode.’ For example, maybe they keep missing appointments with their case worker, or they are late on their bills and their electricity is going to be cut off, and their kids need new clothes for school, and on and on. They appear to be ignoring the problems, but actually they are focusing on one aspect that they feel will make or break them. Maybe they are taking their money to pay the cable bill, for example.”

Volunteerism and service is an important part of Fatina’s life. She is admired by friends for helping neighbors and people from her church. Now that she has received training through her volunteering, such as use of the Ohio Benefit Bank, she has more to offer them.

The lasting impression that Fatina takes from this experience is her education in mental health issues. “I didn’t believe in a lot of different [mental health] disabilities before this. Being able to work with the people has made all the difference- they do need more understanding and tolerance.”

She was most impressed by the atmosphere at the Mental Health America Office. “You never hear criticism of the clients. You couldn’t ask for a more understanding and supportive environment.” The experience has so affected her that she has even considered changing her major from IT to social work.

Her final advice is a plea to anyone who is hesitant to seek help. “If someone just found out they have a mental illness, make that call [to MHA], they won’t find anyone else more understanding.”

--Kristen Frame

Too Blessed to be Stressed

"Too blessed to be stressed" is my motto of the day. I rarely open e-mail "forwards," but a Getting Ahead class member shared one that I couldn't resist and it contained that heartening homily. It was just what I needed to hear on a very stressful day.

Indeed, I am blessed with an incredibly loving and supportive family, the cutest grandchild in the world (IMHO), a job and a home I love, and the only time I go hungry is . . . well, practically never. On a day-to-day basis, though, I don't always remember to count those blessings. Like today. In just the last few months, pain from arthritis and fibromyalgia has become a daily companion and the top joints on both forefingers popped out the way my grandmother's did. Also, although my memory was always bad, now it's worse and it affects so many aspects of my life. It's discouraging to be your own worst enemy at 59.

You know, I don't mind being 59. In fact, I might even stay there. But I remember my grandmother at 59, and it takes my breath away to realize that I'm the same age she was when she was 59. It puts "59" into a completely different context for me. Mufasa! (a Lion's King reference, for those who haven't seen it 23 times).

As that great philosopher Marie Osmond once said, "You're going to laugh about it in the future. Why not laugh about it now?" OK.

If you visit the Parent Support office at Mental Health America, don't be surprised to find computer wallpaper with one or both of those sayings on it.

I got Marie's quotation from her website. I also spent a little time trying to find out where the saying "too stressed to be blessed" originated. Suzan D. Johnson Cook wrote a book called "Too Stressed to be Blessed: about her ministry as an African American woman who became a pastor at a time when many people disapproved of women as pastors.

Having a book with that title doesn't necessarily mean she said it first, though. I stopped Googling and finally decided I was just procrastinating and needed to actually write the blog. So for now, it's by the most prolific author of all time: Anonymous.

Judith Waite Allee
P.S. If you are a low-income parent, please call me at 788-0300 to see if you qualify to earn up to $450 taking a class on financial stability and investigating poverty in Licking County.

Gotta Have Faith

Schizophrenia: a mental disorder characterized by seperation between thought and emotions by delusions, bizarre behavior, etc. (Webster's)

My experience with schizophrenia was all of the above definition, and a small dose of delusions of grandeur in the mix. Unfortunately I still do have these symptoms, but, thanks to medication and therapy, I'm functioning much better.

My recovery, if you will, has also a spiritual and religious connection. Like the demoniac of the Gerasenes, I believe Jesus Christ has held my hand in recovery all through the good and bad times. And, with His help I pray for the others less fortunate than me as well.

I know many mentally ill blame God, family, and others for their disease, but with therapy, medication and, I believe, faith in something tangible, we can find recovery possible.

Sam Irvin

We want everything to be perfect

I have a philosophy that every Compeer social should be a celebration. In my job, as Compeer Coordinator, it is my responsibility to organize two regular social events each month for the members of Compeer.

Compeer is a program of MHA which matches trained volunteers with mental health recipients in one-to-one friendship relationships as well as groups of persons. To join Compeer you must be referred by your mental health professional, or apply as a volunteer. Volunteers are screened and received free training and support.

The purpose of the socials is to provide an opportunity to get out and meet people and make new friends. Good things happen when you’ve got a friend. Friends listen. They share. They give us a feeling of belonging and the encouragement to believe in ourselves.

Parties put me in mind of the scene from a Gary Larson “Far Side” cartoon in which sheep are having a social gathering. There is a living room full of sheep, quietly drinking and eating, apparently enjoying themselves. At that moment the Australian Shepherds arrive at the party.

One anxious sheep turns to another and says, “Everything is in chaos! No one knows has any direction. Thank goodness the Sheep dogs are here!”

I am that anxious sheep. I want everyone to have a good time. I know that there are Compeer members who worry about coming to the socials. And I, in turn, worry about that. So, I do everything that I can to make the socials casual and fun. Come as you are.

Why do things have to be perfect?

Our last social was a Tiki party. There was Hawaiian music and Tiki decorations. I wanted it to be perfect. It was not. The pineapple was sour. The food ran out before it was time to leave. But somehow, some people had a perfectly nice time. It was a “Ho`o Laule`a,” a celebration.

No one said, “I think that your flaming Tiki centerpiece has stopped flaming-I’m leaving!” Or “The paper umbrella in my drink clashes with my lei, you’re obviously a complete failure as a human being.”

Instead, people talked and laughed and ate all the sour pineapple (and all the other food!) There were even some “Malihinis,” newcomers, who were welcomed like “Hualoha,” dear friends.

Our Compeer members accept that I am not perfect. Compeer socials are far from perfectly planned, but the members are a small group of perfectly-friendly, inviting people.

We are currently accepting applications for community volunteers. Volunteers do not need to be perfect, but they must complete a written application and attend an interview to discuss program opportunities.

Through Compeer, volunteers can give someone the powerful gift of your friendship. It takes as little as an hour of your time each week. It’s as simple as going for a walk, seeing a movie, or just picking up the phone. Through Compeer, you can help change someone’s life for the better. And it’s as simple as being a friend!

We look forward to having you join with other Compeer volunteers who have come to understand and view their Compeer friends simply as people with problems: individuals who are having trouble in coping with everyday life situations and who benefit from the supportive friendship of a concerned and caring friend.

Compeer is “Ohana,” family, and that’s what makes it special. Any chance that a family can come together there should be a celebration. So, I try to make each get-together a little special.

I can’t promise every night will be a Tiki Party. Some socials will be closer to perfect, others will be…well not. The edible sugar sculpture rats on “Ratatouille Night” were not a big hit.

Our next social is a potluck and movie night, but it will still be a celebration of friends coming together.

In September, the women of Compeer will be going as a group to the Women’s Health Expo at the J. Gilbert Reese Center as part of our wellness program. September is also our annual Awards Dinner.

I am still going to be concerned that everyone is having a nice time. It’s hard for me to accept that I can’t make everyone happy at every social. But, I am beginning to accept that at least some of them will “Ki Pa Hou Mai,” come visit again.

Aloha `oe
Kristen Frame
Compeer Coordinator

Cool People, Not Old People

P.A.V.E stands for Prevent Assault and Violence Education. We go into middle schools with high school students and we talk about what violence and assault is and what we can do to stop it. We also bribe the children with candy so that they will answer questions, and pay attention. The PAVE Coordinator goes in 3 days of the week and the last 2 is when the high school students are brought in.

A lot of the information is incorporated in through skits to keep the kids' attention and also have a bigger affect. Also, college students are brought into high schools to do the same thing. We use students to teach students because the older students are looked at as the cool people and no one wants to listen to old people.

C.J. Swick
President
PAVE

Yea PAVE!!

This is Katy Mitchem, I am the PAVE Assistant I have been in this position for two years and I have loved every minute of it. When I first started with PAVE I didn’t know that there were so many types of abuse, let alone how big of a problem abuse was in our community. By working with the PAVE program it has opened my eyes to situations in my life that have affected me personally in both positive and negative ways.

PAVE is group of teenagers that lead an educational program that goes into area schools in the community to teach students about violence prevention. The topics that PAVE members discuss include physical assault, neglect, sexual harassment, bullying, teen dating violence and more! The members of PAVE also help students that may have been victimized to realize that it was not their fault.

With a lot of PAVE members working and busy and trying to enjoy their freedom from school, it is often hard to get a hold of them for events, but this summer has been lousy with participation! PAVE has been very busy this summer going to conferences and doing fun things like going to the zoo. We also have up coming events such as PCAO (Prevent Child Abuse Ohio) on August 15th, the Hartford Fair on August 4th, and the Pow Wow on August 23rd & 24th. All of which PAVE members will be participating in.

With the school year approaching it is looking like a busy year again for PAVE with five schools already scheduled. We have elected new officers and even changed our program names around to more fitting titles.

PAVE is open to any high school student in Licking County who wants to make a difference in their community. PAVE is always looking for new students to join in the fun, PAVE’s orientation is Saturday September the 13th. Feel to call Jill, Jan or Katy if you’re interested at 740-522-2277. You can also email us at prevention@mhalc.org.

YOU CANT SPELL LOVE WITHOUT THE Vee!!!

HI my name is Desmond Gordon & I represent the YES CLUB!!!

I was born & raised in Newark Ohio. So I'm the product of my environment. Thanks to Mrs. Vee Hottle for giving me an opportunity to help shape & better the children's lives from my own community. I feel that Vee is the greatest person I know because she really believes that every child has a chance to succeed in life no matter what you have come from or what you have been through. Also I believe the same because I'm living proof that you can come from nothing and become something great. There is no better job in the world to me then a place that I can became a teenager & play all day while getting paid for it. HA HA HA!!!! Also at the same time be able to give & present a positive male influence on the children of Licking county. I take great pride in my work because I can relate to majority of these kids because they come from the same places and situations that I've already been through. That's why we are such a tight knit family at YES CLUB. When we have discussions children understand & realize that they are not alone in their lives or situations. It feels so good that everyday these children show up to the club house because they also see Mrs. Hottle's vision & I'm so thankful to be a part that. Also we are all so excited to move into our new YES CLUB HOUSE! I would love to thank everyone who took part in creating the new HOUSE.

SINCERELY YOURS
Desmond Gordon (YES CLUB)

Modern Times

Jan GreenRiver

Director of Prevention & Programs

Mental Health America of Licking County

Summer time is the time when children are often running free – free from the boundaries of the classroom, free from the chains of homework, free from the confines of home…but are they ever free from the possibility of abuse? In 2008, we are painfully aware that things have changed over the years & children are not free to roam their neighborhoods from dawn to dusk they way they used to. I remember riding bikes all over Heath as a pre-teen/teen or walking to the pool & spending the entire day there. My parents did not need to worry about my well-being the way I worry about my children today.

When I began working for Mental Health America, I began as a CAPP presenter – the Child Abuse Prevention Program. For years we have been trying to help children stay safe in our community. Many times at trainings, conferences, etc., we are asked how long have we been doing the work that we do. While I have only been doing this work professionally for a few short years, I say that I have been working in this field for nearly 20 years – since I became pregnant for the first time. Aside from all the physical & medical prenatal care of my child, I realized that the world this baby would enter was not as friendly as the one I had grown up in. I could do all in my power to give him a safe birth, a safe home, but what happens outside all that?

Now as a professional in the world of mental health promotion and abuse prevention, after going to numerous classrooms to talk with our young ones about personal safety, it’s clear how much more is needed to protect our children.

Back to the Future

As with many of my peers, whose age approaches, or surpasses, the posted speed limit on secondary highways, I am astonished by the change that those of subsequent generations take for granted. As an illustration, I can remember asking why I would need an MP3 player when I have perfectly good cassette tapes. And, of course, long after iPods have become as common as, well, cassette tapes used to be, I figured out that there were advantages to being able to store my entire collection of records and tapes in the same amount of space taken up by just one tape. Long after instant messaging and “texting” had entered the public consciousness, I was still trying to figure out what the charm was of sending what looked like nonsensical gibberish through the air when you could call. Clearly, I am not an “it”-getter when it comes to many of these technologies.

This is all by way of rationalizing why, after “myspacing” has become an accepted verb, I wanted to write about social networking.

I came across an article about leveraging the power of online social networks such as MySpace and Facebook to raise money. And, as the search for money occupies a significant portion of my time, I elected to educate myself about Facebook. I hasten to add that, even from the relative anonymity of the computer, this was a bold step for a lifelong wallflower. And most likely, had there not been the professional connection, I would not have done it.

For those who may not have done anything like this before, the process of “joining” involves completing a form with as much, or as little, information as you care to disclose. You can fill in your hometown, your high school, your political and/or religious view; you can provide information about your work history, your marital status and your favorite movie and/or television program. The database then looks for other members with points of commonality and identifies them as people you can invite to be your “friend.” Obviously, the more you disclose, the more potential friends you can be introduced to.

In an age of identity theft and cyber stalkers, it was a little scary to think about putting all of that information out there—and, before you go looking, I didn’t put it all out there--but I also was forced to admit that I was curious to know who, among all of the people I have met and then let go of, might be out there. I suppose it’s the cyber equivalent of the same impulse that drives people back to their high school and college reunions. I have such clear “before” pictures of who those people were and there is a part of me that is morbidly curious to see what they have become after life has played a few rounds with them.

So I posted my partially completed profile and invited my sister to accept me as a friend—a real breakthrough given the rocky start to our relationship some decades ago.

Very quickly, I got a message from one of my sister’s old roommates and then I heard from someone I knew in high school. And then I heard from someone I used to coach in debating. And then I heard from someone else, who I remember, and who I worked with both in high school and in college, but I never had the sense that we were “friends.” I was surprised that he wanted to connect with me after about 30 years.

It's not that there was a flood of friends, because, as I write this, that is my entire list, but the three people I knew from high school and who reached out to connect with me are the ones that I marvel about. I would never have reached out to them, mostly because I am, to my very core, a shy person and couldn’t think they would be interested in anything that I might have to say.

But they reached out to me and I think of each of their “friend requests” as a gift. Completely unsolicited, they have “checked in” and that has impressed me. I have no other choice than to think that they remembered something about that moment in time when our lives intersected and that they wanted to revisit those memories—even if only for a moment—by contacting me.

I don’t mean to come across like some sort of an egotist, because that ain’t me. I am someone who believes that he has passed, and will continue to pass, through life without making much of a ripple. In fact, I work hard not to make any waves at all, but, right or wrong, good or bad, significant or not, I have impacted three lives and it has changed how I think about myself.

Changing how you think about yourself is an important part of recovering from a mental illness.

During the month of May, we talked a lot about the importance of social connections for persons experiencing mental illness. The lack of these connections can promote the onset of symptoms and prolong their duration.

Because of their very nature, mental illnesses cause people to withdraw and to shrink, and in many cases dissolve, their social networks. Like the old song, when you’re happy and you know it, you clap your hands and draw attention to yourself. When you’re depressed, you go to your room and isolate yourself.

When you are ready to come out of your room then having a social network—wherever you find it: online or in life—can accelerate your recovery. This is the concept behind MHA’s Compeer program.

So, if there’s a name on your email list, or in your address book, that you haven’t contacted in a while then check in with them. You don’t have to say a lot. Just contacting them can mean a whole lot. You never know the power you have to impact people’s lives.

Graham Campbell
Associate Director
Mental Health America of Licking County