Scary Things

Recently, there have been some scary things going on in Granville. I’m not talking about the Halloween festivities, or eerie costumes, or a plethora of “spider webbing” hanging all around. I mean the incidents where someone was approaching young children and possibly enticing them to enter his vehicle. This activity would be the nightmare of everyone on Elm Street, but also of any parent I know. Especially if the child actually listened to what that guy had to say and got in the car.

As Mental Health America of Licking County's Director of Prevention, I have spent many years helping teach children how they can prevent such a nightmare from happening. I am proud to say that when these events happened, Granville Elementary School counselor Dianne Ryan was very much on top of things. We generally provide the Child Abuse Prevention Program (CAPP) to them in the latter half of the school year. It’s great to say that we have presenters in that school this week and next. She wanted to share all this important information with their students immediately, with special emphasis on how to avoid “stranger danger” and keep their students safe.

Child safety is something we all should be aware of at this trick or treating time of year. As a parent, we may be sure that our children wear glow in the dark clothing or reflective strips on their costumes. We may tell our children that they can’t eat any candy until we have looked at every single piece of it and checked it all out. But, do we also tell them to be very careful of strangers who try to entice them into cars, vans, homes, or even bushes? Do we talk with our children about the possibility that those people who want to hurt them may hold up a big chocolate bar or empty dog leash and plead with them to come help? Do we encourage our children to yell loudly if someone makes them feel uncomfortable in any way and always tell an adult when that might happen? Do we assume that because our children are in middle school or high school, they can take care of themselves? As parents, when do we ever get permission to stop parenting?

A parent of a first grader at Granville sent me an email asking about CAPP and if the program, or curriculum, could be evaluated. I responded in great detail and have heard nothing more. I appreciate that parent taking time to ask about our program. That is an active parent. All parents are more than welcome to ask any of our program coordinators about their programs. I am so glad that there are people in our community who help care for and about our children. MHALC has several of them employed here. The Child Abuse Prevention Program is simply one way to help keep kids safe, whether it is from stranger danger, bullying, or known-assailant assault. But the very best resource we have to keeping our children safe is the first person they see, the first person who should talk to them about these issues before things happen – their parent.

For more information please send me an email by clicking here, or you can reach me by phone at 740-522-2277.

--Jan GreenRiver

Director of Prevention

The Meeting I Didn't Want to Go To

Last night I had a meeting in Columbus to represent PAVE or Prevent Assault & Violence Education. The meeting was at the Columbus Public Library MLK branch on Long Street. It took a while to find it and it was in a part of town with boarded-up homes and businesses.

It was after a long day at work, a long drive, and a rushed lunch. The last thing I wanted to do was attend a meeting out of town, at night and where the library’s slow internet connection made the presentation drag on. I had even taken our PAVE President along to keep me company and I felt that it was important for her to hear about the changes being made in the Strategies Against Violence Everywhere (SAVE) Awards program.

Our group has been part of SAVE off and on since its inception in 1994. We have an amazing group of teens in our program this year and they still keep coming! Over 50 high school students from all over Licking  County –from Heath, Newark, Utica, Licking Valley, Licking Heights,  Johnstown, Granville Christian Academy and more! –have signed up to be part of PAVE. And they were so interested and dedicated to participating in SAVE this year that I felt obligated to attend and see if we would be able to continue with the program that culminates with limo rides and on-stage performances in April 2011. If we were going to do it, this meeting was mandatory.

I knew that there were changes coming to the SAVE program this year. Tracy Thornton who is the Awards Advisor with the SAVE program had told me that already. Normally our teens would have to spend a couple days in Columbus with mandatory conflict resolution and media literacy training, a Peace Camp and then auditions. This year however, we need to spend about 9 hours, or 1 session a week, with SAVE and Tracy could not travel to Licking County to provide those trainings. Once we worked out a plan for me to shadow her, I could teach our teens the new SAVE curriculum. There would be different levels of accomplishment that our group could achieve and that seemed very reasonable.

Someone we had been working with during the past year joined the meeting late. DingDing Ma from Asian American Community Services (AACS) was there and she works with their Healthy Asian Youth (HAY) program. We had been on their committee to prepare for the GenerAsian Next event held at OSU this past August.. That alone made the trip worthwhile. Tawnee, the PAVE President,  and I both got hugs from her, along with the sad news of an AACS staff resignation. I told her that I would miss seeing that person at regional events, but hoped that meant I would see DingDing more often and I offered to help her in any way she needed me or PAVE. She immediately said that she knew that and that she would love to keep working with us. Not just me, but the teens in our program, too! We had already shown them so much!

During the meeting, I had the chance to share PAVE and SAVE’s history together with everyone who was there. It was great to see so many smiling faces when I talked about how empowering the work was for our group and the fact that one student had been with us since he was a high school freshman, had done the SAVE Awards, and the video of that performance was now a teaching tool that he uses as one of our contract staff in the high school classrooms. It was such a win-win-win situation!

Many other representatives who were there had never been involved with SAVE or ever heard of PAVE. It was so rewarding to leave that meeting – the one I thought I didn’t want to go to – with those thoughts of all the new youth who will be impacted by participating in this year’s SAVE. I could picture our teens enjoying their limo ride as they exit and are greeted by “hundreds of adoring fans” yelling their names while flash bulbs are popping! Tawnee talked about the possibilities that PAVE could do for our performance this year and what we had done in the past…and everything that we had to live up to after all those comments and stories.

So now it begins…working with the teens to decide yet again how to spread their messages of anti-violence at SAVE, teaching them more about conflict resolution and media literacy, raising awareness about so many issues that touch them, and giving them some alternatives and solutions that they can really use and live with. That’s what PAVE is about. That’s why so many students are involved this year – they heard us asking: do you want to help? Their answer was a resounding “YES!”

--Jan GreenRiver

Director of Prevention 

PAVE: Advocating for Others, Healing the Self

At MHALC, we are all about education, prevention and advocacy. But we are also about relationships and fostering ways to improve them all the time. One of the impactful programs that we offer is the Prevent Assault & Violence Education (PAVE) program that utilizes high school student volunteers who go into the middle schools to tech about bullying, media literacy, physical abuse and sexual assault.

The students who do this might know what they are talking about in far too personal ways. Many of the students who teach about these issues have already experienced some of them. So not only do the students reach younger children about very sensitive topics, but they also learn healthier ways of coping themselves and create their own PAVE family setting. PAVE members are empowered by learning about the underlying reasons that may cause some of these negative behaviors. Then they are able to gain asset building skills to help them maneuver this portion of their life and be better prepared for what their future may hold.

Two PAVE members have shared parts of their stories with our group. In this posting are the words they want everyone to hear. Not only do they want other teens to know how PAVE has helped them, but they want schools, educators, parents, peers, family and other students just like them to know how PAVE can change a life. They are cared for, utilized, empowered, strengthened, and valued as members of this afterschool family. What may be most important about their vital membership with the group is that they are not judged, they are free to be themselves, they are welcome to bring friends – or not. They are accepted just where and how they are. Isn’t that really what we all want?

PAVE was a life changing experience for me. I was having a lot of family problems & was always depressed. One day I was talking to my friend Dallas about my problems so he brought me to PAVE. I have learned many ways to deal with my problems. Being in PAVE has turned my life around. Everyone involved in PAVE is like family to me. I can trust everyone and openly talk about my problems and not worry about being judged. PAVE really helps when you have problems or even if you just want to help people.

- Miranda Nixon

This is my second year at P.A.V.E. and I am glad to be a part of this group. I feel like I have a family here. Our first day we come together as strangers, and at the end of the day we leave as friends. 

            Recently, I had a personal experience with sexual assault - last month. I felt like there was no one I could talk to. I came to P.A.V.E and we had 'circle time'. That is where we sit in a circle and each person gets the chance to say what they are thinking, whether it was on the topic we discussed that day, or a personal issue that is weighing on your mind. When it got to me, I started to shake, and my voice was choppy. I told my story to everyone that was there. I felt very relieved that I was able to talk about it. The part that touched me most was what happened afterword. I was sitting in my seat, shaking and crying...and Miranda comes running to me, hugs me and says, "I love you Caley!"

            P.A.V.E is a great place to release your feelings. You can speak your mind and not worry about being judged, it is a safe place. Everyone there has touched me in some way. I will never forget the whole experience. I hope to come back after I graduate in the spring. P.A.V.E. Rocks!!

Caley

~Senior at Utica

--Jan GreenRiver
Director of Prevention

#4 Help Others

The fourth tool in the Live Your Life Well toolkit is "Help Others."

The man in the picture is Doug Seus.  He and his wife raise and train grizzly bears for work in film and television.

My wife and I had heard about their work and knew a little bit about Bart the Bear who had been in such movies as "Legends of the Fall", "The Bear" and "The Edge."  At least initially, news coverage of the bear and his blossoming movie career was interesting, but incidental:  like watching the Weather Channel.

What changed? 

We met a dog named Dexter.

Dexter was a Newfoundland puppy, who came to live with us in 1995.  

Anyone who has ever shared their life with a large breed dog will testify to the exquisite agony of that relationship.  Big dogs come with big problems and short life spans.  As it would turn out, Dexter would be with us for just under four years before succumbing to a host of genetic disorders.  Nursing him through his many medical challenges brought us closer and made us feel his loss even more profoundly.

It was while we were feeling the loss of our own 180-pound black and white bear of a dog, that we saw a documentary called "Growing Up Grizzly" profiling Doug & Lynne Seus and Bart the Bear. 

Hosted by Brad Pitt, the show profiled the unique relationship between the Seus family and their 1200-pound grizzly.  What caught our attention immediately was the genuine respect that the humans and the bear had for one another.  Central to that mutual respect was the close contact between species.  I recall the importance that Doug Seus placed on making certain the bear knew the smell of his breath and how he would look for every opportunity to breathe into the bear's mouth.

Perhaps the most striking aspects of the documentary were the sequences where they showed Doug and Bart wrestling.  By themselves, they might look like scenes from an episode of "When Animals Attack", but they were just two friends playing, rolling around in the dirt, splashing in the pond, and trying to pin one another to the ground.

It was in those moments that we lost our hearts to a man and his bear.  

We could relate.  Granted, the size differential between Dexter and me was substantially less, but I am here to tell you, that it is just as difficult to make a 180-pound dog do something he doesn't want to do.  Our relationship was not so much master and obedient dog, as it was more of a negotiated settlement.

This year marks the 20^th anniversary of the Seus’ founding of Vital Ground, an organization dedicated to preserving the natural migration trails of the grizzly.  Founded on the premise that where the grizzly can thrive so, too, can we humans, the organization seeks to accomplish its goal in much the same way that Seus was able to establish his unique relationships with his bears:  through mutual respect.  They raise money to buy land, but more often they seek conservation easements from landowners.

Mr. & Mrs. Seus established Vital Ground as a way of honoring their partnership with Bart who has since passed away.  My wife and I have supported the organization as a way of honoring the memory of our little bear.

In early September, Vital Ground held an anniversary celebration in Park City, Utah, near where the Seus family and their bears, Little Bart and Honey Bump, live.  An important part of the event, and the main reason that we went out there, was an opportunity to see Seus and Little Bart in person.

In an area the size of a tennis court, that was delineated with a shin-high electrified cattle guard, Seus and Little Bart wrestled, played and recreated his greatest hits from his many different film, television and commercial roles.

It was a remarkable experience to be separated by only the cattle guard, a strip of yellow caution tape and less than 40 feet from this magnificent animal and to feel no fear as he came lumbering from his trailer.  As he came into view, the crowd of about 200 began to applaud and it seemed to us that this big bear got even bigger—as though he thrived on the audience approval.

Mrs. Seus would describe each of the scenes and what Bart had been asked to do, and then her husband would work with his Bear partner to recreate the moments.  Along the way, we learned that Bart loves Sprite and whipped cream, but more than either of those, he loves to play with Doug Seus.  Everything else is just foreplay to a good wrestle.

To watch them roll around on the ground is to understand what a trusting relationship is all about.  You cannot scare or intimidate a 1200-pound animal and then let them pin you to the ground with your head in their mouth without any fear that they might “forget” what “off” means.  You have to be certain; you have to trust.  It was absolutely clear to each of us there that these two, the bear and his human, were equal partners and great friends.

At the end of their presentation, Navajo dancers presented a series of ceremonial dances, culminating in the rarely performed Bear Dance. 

Throughout the dance, I was watching Mr. & Mrs. Seus and was struck by their reactions.  I don’t know either of them, so this is pure speculation on my part, but they seemed to me that during this dance to honor the Bear spirit, they were engaged in a communication every bit as spiritual as were the dancers.  So symbolic a moment was this, that it felt wrong to take this picture, like wearing a Hawaiian shirt to a funeral. 

I decided to take the picture anyway, because of the pure honesty of their response to the Bear Dance.  These were not mere animal trainers, like the whip and chair wielding Gunther Geble Williams:  the Seus’ did not tame their bears, they built a relationship and in so doing came to understand—really understand—one another.

Helping others is transactional:  each party gives and gets.  Givers get just as much, if not more than getters get.  Doug & Lynne Seus rescued their grizzlies—Bart, Tank, Little Bart and Honey Bump, but it is also true that the bears, beginning with the original Bart, gave the Seus’ much more. 

Helping others is selfless and it is also selfish.  Our decisions to give of our time and money are just as personal as the recipients we select.  For my wife and me, we support the bears because it connects us to a football-sized ball of black and white hair that grew and grew until our lives finally had a purpose.

Helping others is a way to counteract the thumbs that are all too frequently on the scales of justice.  Because of human settlement throughout the Grizzly's natural migration routes, they faced a real threat of extinction.  Vital Ground makes it possible for the remaining populations coexist with humans and to survive in their natural habitat.

Whatever your passion, helping others is good for you and it is, quite simply, the right thing to do.


--Graham Campbell
Associate Director