Saved by Zero

Hey! It’s that time of year again, Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month. It’s a shame that I have to keep reminding people about these issues, but they just won’t go away. It seems that no matter how many schools we are in or how many thousands of lives we touch, we can’t dispose of child abuse &/or sexual abuse.

Licking County has a relatively high rate of child abuse. A very large concentration of registered sex offenders appear as Licking County residents. Most victims of sexual assault, 90%, know their attacker. Fortunately, Mental Health America has two programs specifically designed to help reduce this violence. For preschools and elementary schools we offer the Child Abuse Prevention Program (CAPP). Once students reach middle school we offer the Prevent Assault & Violence Education (PAVE) program. Not only is this available to middle schools, but it offers programming for high schools, community groups and colleges. Afterschool clubs are offered to the schools as well, to talk about issues that may be directly related to their community.

And when it comes to community, we mean all of Licking County. This weekend, there is a free community event on Saturday. This is the 5th Annual Peacemakers’ Showcase & it’s open to everyone. From 2-5 p.m., students from all over will meet at Premier Martial Arts at 104 E Main Street. They will share messages of anti-violence in drama (Licking Heights Central Middle School 8th grade VIP Club performing Bang Bang You’re Dead by William Mastrosimone), poetry, song, video, & static displays. There are raffles to help raise money for the program, including a great gift bag from Mariska Hargitay of television’s Law & Order: SVU (including a dvd set of its fifth season). While we are all about empowering others, we are also about staying safe. Premier will supply free self-defense classes to children (2:00-5:00), teens age 13-18 (3:00-4:00) & women over 18 (4:00-5:00) during the afternoon.

To end the celebration, the group will transition to the gazebo on the Courthouse Square for a Take Back the Night Rally after 5:00. The Licking County Clothesline Project will be on display and the community is invited to add shirts to the line. This project honors those who have endured sexual assault or gender violence. Speakers will share their stories & special guest Theresa Flores will speak at 6:00 to educate those in attendance about sexual trafficking. Flores endured two years as a sex slave while in high school in the Detroit area. Her family moved away her senior year, saving her from the gang that controlled her life. Copies of her book, The Sacred Bath, will be on sale. Following her speech, the event will conclude with a candlelight march around the courthouse.

Please don’t think that you or your family is immune from these issues. Theresa came from a two parent, affluent home, was attractive, involved in church and school. Many children or teens in our community fit that description, too. Yet she was a victim. How many of our children are victims? No matter what that number is, we want it to become 0.

Please join us Saturday as we celebrate the many young people who are doing great things in our schools and communities. Maybe even thank them for speaking out against violence of all kinds. Most importantly, share our message with your children. I have.

-- Jan GreenRiver
Dir. of Programs & Prevention

Friendship Therapy

How do you make new friends? Healthy friendships add joy and subtract stress. But for many of us, friendships don't just "happen" the way they did when we were kids. As adults, we have to make more effort.

In times past, we met our neighbors over the clothesline in the backyard or when we tried to catch a breeze on a hot summer evening on our front porches. We got to know each other at the corner store. Now we stay inside with air conditioning, an electric clothes drier, a TV and the Internet. We shop at Big-Box-Mart. The people we meet stay acquaintances, not friends.

Today, meeting people and making friends has to be more intentional. One way to meet new people is explore your interests. What have you always wanted to learn? What has always fascinated you, perhaps even as a child? Licking County is rich in special interest groups like these:

• Licking County Rock and Mineral Club, which has speakers and field trips on geology, gemology and archeology; www.rockmanjoe.com/ohioclubs.html


• Licking County Computer Society, which has a repair group, a digital photography group, a website group, and monthly speakers; www.lccsohio.org


• Ohio Green Specialists, a newly formed group that brings together people interested reducing, reusing and recycling, and has upcoming speakers on solar and alternative energy and organic gardening; www.meetup.com/greens


• Moundbuilders 511 Toastmasters International Club, where both shy and outgoing people learn public speaking and leadership skills in a supportive environment; www.lectern.us


• Licking County Players, which in addition to actors and directors, needs people behind the scenes to usher, publicize, man the candy stand, paint the scenery, and other "roles"; www.lickingcountyplayers.org


• Habitat for Humanity of Licking County, where you can learn or teach building and maintenance skills while helping to build a home for a low-income family; www.lickingcountyhabitat.org


• Songwriters of Central Ohio, groups.yahoo.com/group/Songwriters-of-Central-Ohio

This is a small sampling--and they are all clubs I either belong to now or have belonged to in years past, so I can vouch that they are friendly groups where the members have a shared passion. There are many more where those came from. If you can think of an interest, there is probably a group somewhere, or you can start one.

Wishing you joy and friendship!

--Judith Allee
Parent Support Coordinator

A Little Basket Goes a Long Way

For 55 years this community has supported the Eve Elliott Easter Project at Mental Health America of Licking County. Community volunteers of all ages come together each spring to provide Easter baskets for people who are in custodial care situations like nursing homes, shelters, hospitals and detention facilities.

These baskets come in all shapes and sizes. Some are very fancy and have colorful treats in actual wicker baskets, and some are a handful of Peeps and Easter grass in a zip-lock bag. The one element that they all have in common is that each is a powerful message to these isolated populations that they are connected; they are part of a larger community and have not been forgotten.

If you have ever had a bad day, had the blues or had a bout of depression, then you know that feeling of isolation, of insulation. You might need some help to find your way back and these simple acts of kindness can light the way.

This year the community provided 3,291 baskets.

On behalf of Mental Health America, I would like to thank everyone who made a basket, or provided us with candy, boxes and all the other bits and pieces. We would also like to thank Fred Paul and the members of the Community Leadership Class of the Licking County Chamber of Commerce who delivered the baskets.

We are pleased to be able to do this project and grateful for the community support that makes it possible.

Graham Campbell
Associate Director

News flash: You can talk to his doctor even if his doctor can't talk to you

One heartbreaking aspect of loving someone who is struggling with a mental illness is not knowing if his treatment team is seeing the whole picture. Is your loved one able to accurately report his symptoms? (To simplify this discussion, I am going to refer to the doctor or therapist as "she" and the patient (your loved one) as "he.")

Doctors and therapists are bound by strict confidentiality rules, which is why you have to sign those "HIPPA" forms when you go to any medical person, including mental health professionals. So what's a mother (spouse, friend, etc.) to do when there are serious concerns about a loved one's mental health?

Here's a tip: Confidentiality only prevents the doc from giving information to you. It doesn't prevent her from receiving information from you. So, here are some options.

1. Go to the appointment with him. Ask your loved one if it would be OK. It's his decision.

2. Ask if he will sign a release form so you can talk with the doctor or therapist. Release forms usually last from three to six months.

3. See if your loved one would prefer someone other than you to communicate with his doctor. Is there someone both of you trust who might be more acceptable to your loved one?

4. Write a letter to the doctor or therapist (or send a copy to all members of the treatment team). Or call--but in that case you will probably be giving the information to a staff person, who in turn will transmit it second-hand to the doctor. Your letter will probably get through to the doctor without a go-between interpreting it.

If you do write, you have two options:

Option A.--Be up front about it.
Tell the patient what you are doing and why. You might want to give the patient a copy of the letter before the appointment so he can see for himself what your concerns are.

I hear you saying, "He knows perfectly well what my concerns are and he thinks I'm full of it." A succinct letter can help him to better see the big picture from your point of view. Be brief, but be clear and specific, and avoid judgment, blame and shame. Just the facts, ma'am, such as:

"He seems confused and often cannot finish a thought" or "His conversation rapidly flits from one topic to another" (not "he jabbers incessantly").

Point out any changes in his behavior, thought patterns, or moods:

"For the last month, he has been bathing about once a week and hasn't been combing his hair. This is unlike him. Normally, he bathes regularly and is well-groomed." That is clearer and less confrontational than, "I tell him over and over he needs a bath, but he won't listen when I tell him he stinks to high heaven." (And if you are talking that way, your anger is understandable, but talking to him disrespectfully will probably make things worse.)

Re-write your letter, perhaps several times, to make it as clear and helpful as possible.

Option B.--Write the letter without telling him.
If you think your sending a letter will agitate him or exacerbate symptoms like paranoia, explain in your letter why you would prefer the doctor or therapist not disclose that you wrote. But be prepared--there's no guarantee the doc will not tell her patient that you wrote the letter. On the other hand, she isn't required to do so; it's a judgment call.

You will have to balance the risk of agitation against the risk that if you don't give the doc more information, she will be hampered in making the most accurate diagnosis or offering the most effective treatment.

Bless those of you who are making these hard decisions about how to be helpful. I wish every person who experiences depression or another mental illness had someone like you watching over them! Call MHA, (740) 522-1341, or visit our website, www.MHALC.org, if you'd like to learn more about mental illness, violence prevention and recovery, parenting, or volunteering.

--Judith Allee
Parent Support Coordinator

Spring Is On Its Way!

(Although a little bird told me it’s supposed to snow next week)

One of the first facts that surprised me when I became the Suicide Prevention Coordinator was that the rate of suicide is highest during the months of spring—not winter like I had assumed. So although I am excited for spring because I enjoy the nice weather and the chance to work in my garden, I also think we must be vigilant of the attitudes and behaviors of those around us during the coming months, and keep an eye out for the signs of depression and/or suicide.

We have started up a Survivors After Suicide support group for people who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide. Attendance has fluctuated since the first meeting in January. Meetings are held on the third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 pm at Mental Health America of Licking County in the conference room. We welcome friends of survivors to meetings as well. During the meeting, anything that is shared is strictly confidential, and people who attend are welcome to share their stories or experiences, or not say anything at all and just listen. If childcare is a concern, please contact me, Brittany Schumann, at 740-522-1341 and we will see if we can arrange something for you.

Also, we are still collecting photographs with dates, etc. for the Suicide Prevention Quilt until June 1, 2009. You can send the photograph to us by mail and it will be returned to you within two weeks (Attn: Brittany Schumann, 65 Messimer Drive, Newark, OH 43055), or you can send photographs by email to bschumann@mhalc.org. Please feel free to include dates and/or brief quotes/memories with your photograph and we will include them on the quilt! Our hope is that this quilt will provide hope for people with thoughts of suicide that their life is worth living because people do care about them, and the lives of those who have died by suicide will be commemorated.

If you have any questions about depression, suicide, the support group or the quilt, please feel free to contact me!

--Brittany Schumann
Suicide Prevention Coordinator

Find Happiness

You have got to be kidding me, Ohio is ranked 47th in happiness? I hope that doesn’t include those of us who live in Licking County. Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don’t find happiness. You go through the process of discovering who you are or self-actualization. It’s a big word and a very important process.

A few weeks ago the Gallup Inc. Healthways Well-being Index was released which revealed that Ohio ranks 47th out of 50 states on the happiness scale – in other words, lots of Ohioans are unhappy.

Since the United States Declaration of Independence says we all have the right to “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” and Mental Health America promotes good mental health and wellness, I have a few suggestions.

First of all, we all must have good self esteem. Remember that good self esteem is a quiet feeling of liking who you are. That leaves out anyone who is boastful, conceited, or a braggart. People who do those kinds of things do NOT have good mental health. Signs of good self esteem include feeling like a valuable person, displaying a positive attitude, knowing you aren’t perfect and are ready to apologize when you make a mistake, and thinking and behaving in ways that are good for you and good for others. Don’t forget that you must be likeable to have others like you.

Secondly, we must get along with others. That means to respect differences and use self control. When you don’t like someone, which happens to all of us, a mentally healthy person will leave them alone. There will be no bullying, name calling, picking on others. If you don’t like someone, make a quick evaluation of what you can change. If nothing comes to mind, don’t get in their face, just leave them alone.

The third part of being mentally healthy is to cope with the demands of life. In other words, manage the stress you experience using positive strategies – no drinking, drugging, lying, cheating, behaving in negative ways, etc.

Our self esteem in built on successes in life and love. If you don’t feel successful in your relationships, change them. If you don’t feel successful in school or your job, change that situation. If you have a lot of stress, work it out. And I mean it literally: talk about it to someone that can help you sort your way through your stressors; exercise daily – you can change your brain chemistry in a positive way by exercising; think positive thoughts and find silver linings in those dark clouds; join a support group to help you deal with your situation; write out your problems so you can see what is challenging you and then seek help to solve it; and eat healthy food (enough said about that).

Then when life seems really tough, look for a hug. It’s wondrous what a hug can do. A hug can cheer you when you’re blue. A hug can say “I love you so,” or “Gee, I hate to see you go.” The hug! There’s just no doubt about it, we scarcely could survive without it. A hug delights and warms and charms, it must be why we have arms. No need to fret about the store of ‘em. The more you give, the more there are of them. So stretch those arms without delay and give someone a hug today.

If you would like a hug coupon, just let me know. We give them out by the thousands. All I ask is that you use it appropriately and with respect. My email is: paddykutz@alink.com, come in or call Mental Health America of Licking Count, 65 Messimer Drive, Newark, Ohio 43055.

MHA is a member agency of United Way, Community Mental Health & Recovery Board of Licking/Knox Co., and NAMI.

--Paddy Kutz
Executive Director, Mental Health America of Licking County