Iron Woman

For the next few days it's going to be difficult to escape stories about the new Iron Man movie and the impact of comic book heroes, but I want to write about a real hero who is just as resilient and just as powerful.

Lisa Tankovich is now on the path to becoming a social worker, but more than that, she's on a mission. As a survivor of relationship violence, she is working to make the world a safer place, one person at a time.

I met Lisa for the first time last week. She had been around the office, but I'm not much of a people person and so unless someone is introduced to me, I probably won't ever find out who they are unless someone uses their name in my presence.

Lisa and I were in the copy room and she asked me if I was coming to the the Peacemakers Showcase event that was being put on by our PAVE program. This was an event to celebrate the work of local youth to stop violence and provide their peers with information and perspectives on how to protect themselves and stay well.

In our conversation, Lisa disclosed that she was the survivor of a violent relationship and that her father was going to be speaking out for the first time at the event about what it is like to be the parent of a victim. She also said, and I am paraphrasing badly here, that her father was not a violent man, but was more than prepared to go to prison over Lisa's abuser.

She was clearly proud of her dad for supporting her and for speaking out and she wanted to share this. We had not really spoken prior to this and I, at that point, didn't know her name, and yet she was telling me all this personal stuff. I don't come from a background with that much honesty in it, and so her disclosures were, at first, awkward to hear, but then it became clear that she was talking about her journey to recovery and that she was empowered by her ability to overcome very difficult circumstances: that was compelling.

And so, last Friday night, on what was the first really nice Friday night of the spring, we gathered in the amphitheatre at the OSU-N campus and listened as Lisa introduced her dad. And there it was again, her clear-eyed honesty as she talked about what had happened to her, how her family had supported her, and how it was possible for her to go to school to help make a difference in the lives of other people.

When her dad spoke, it was hard to take your eyes off of him. This was the first time that he had spoken publically about his family's experience and yet you would never know it. He may not have been the most accomplished speaker, but he was unquestionably honest. Mistakes were made, opportunities were missed, but his family was intact and they were on their way back. He stressed the importance of maintaining the lines of communication, even when you may not like what you hear. He even took questions, nothing appeared to be off-limits.

It's easy to cite statistics and toll-free numbers when talking about violence; it gets harder when those statistics have first names and family members and histories. That is why it is so exciting to hear about the success stories. Lisa has not only managed to change her own life and get out of a bad situation, but she has changed the lives of her family members and we have no doubt that she will have a comparable impact on the lives of the people she meets as a social worker.

Graham Campbell

Associate Director

Mental Health America of Licking County