Busy School Year Under Way

I have been in schools back to back trying to spread the message of suicide prevention. Talking about suicide prevention in schools is so important because it reduces the stigma of a topic that teachers sometimes do not cover. It provides students with the necessary tools for helping themselves, or a loved one, who may one day face suicidal thoughts or depression.

I hear too many times from people who have lost a loved one to suicide that they wished they knew the warning signs, for if they did their loved one might still be here today. Hearing from survivors after suicides confirms how important my job is.

The sad reality is that this position may not exist after 2009. Due to The Ohio Department of Health no longer funding intentional injury grants, the program is facing elimination unless we fund funding elsewhere, which doesn’t look like it is going to happen. I have been writing grants left and right, however, I have had no luck.

I encourage you to spread the message of how important our program is, and if you know someone who may be able to donate to, or fund, the suicide prevention program to give MHA a call. This program really does save lives.

--Ashley Shaw
Suicide Prevention Coordinator

Responding After Suicide

Paddy Kutz, Executive Director, Mental Health America of Licking County

For all the talk about it, suicide is still a fairly rare event, but if you lost someone to suicide, there are some things you need to know.

• Most people won’t ever know anyone who ended his or her own life, so most people don’t think about it very much. Most people don’t have to.
• Most people have never thought about what it is like to “survive” the death of a loved one, relative, friend or co-worker.
• If you are like most people, you probably didn’t think that much about it either, so it’s little wonder that you may be confused and uncertain about what to do should you experience a suicide. You may wonder:

What to say to others?

What to expect as you grieve?

What to expect from others who are also grieving?

How to explain this to someone else?

How to explain this to yourself?

Why did this happen?

etc. etc. etc.

There will be a mixture of sadness, bewilderment, and uncertainty and lots of questions and concerns.

Unfortunately, most people don’t know this and there aren’t any easy solutions to the difficult situations a death by suicide presents. Sometimes there aren’t any answers for the questions raised.

• “Why didn’t I see any warning signs?” They may not be easy to spot. Many signs such as changes in behavior, may develop slowly – if at all. People who are planning a suicide may hide their feelings and plans from others.
• “How could he or she have done it?” It is natural to feel angry and resentful toward the person who died. Acknowledging these feelings can be an important part of the healthy process.
• “Was it my fault?” You may feel guilty or wonder if you could have done more to help the person. Or you might worry that you somehow caused the person to choose suicide. Remember, it is NOT your fault.

Understanding Your Feelings

A person grieving after a suicide often experiences:

• Shock and denial – at first, you may feel emotionally numb or have a hard time believing the person is truly gone. You may even try to deny the cause of death.
• Anger – you may feel angry with yourself and others for not being able to “save” the person. You may also feel angry with the person who died by suicide.
• Guilt – it’s common for suicide survivors to blame themselves for things they did or didn’t do. But remember, you couldn’t know what would happen.
• Shame – you may worry that others will criticize you or judge you harshly.
• Loneliness and fear – as initial feelings of shock wear off, you must begin to face the finality of your loss. You may feel insecure and afraid to face the future.
• Hopelessness and sadness – feelings of hopelessness and sadness may seem overwhelming. You may wonder if you’ll ever feel joy and pleasure again. Watch out for depression setting in. Grieving is natural, but depression is a treatable illness, which you must deal with appropriately. Get help!
• Acceptance and hope – with time you will learn to accept your loss and feel hopeful again.

Your feelings may surprise you, but they are a natural part of the grieving process. Most people feel strong emotions when they lose someone and the shock of a death by suicide may cause even more intense feelings. Trying to hide or ignore your feelings won’t make them go away. It may take time, but you can learn to copy with these intense, and sometimes confusing, feelings.

“Why suicide? There is no single cause. Generally, the answer is that the person felt trapped by what they saw as a hopeless situation, worthlessness, they felt isolated and cut off from life. They felt intense pain and anguish. They probably weren’t choosing death as much as choosing to end the unbearable pain, whether from problems and losses or from the symptoms of a mental illness or both.

Mental Health America of Licking County has a Survivors After Suicide support group. It is free and can be so helpful in the healing process. The group meets at our office at the rear of 65 Messimer Drive the third Tuesday of the month at 7 pm. We have many suggestions on how to handle these difficult situations. You can call us at 740-522-1341 or email at mhalc@alink.com. Our website is www.mhalc.org for information and resources as well.

Spring Is On Its Way!

(Although a little bird told me it’s supposed to snow next week)

One of the first facts that surprised me when I became the Suicide Prevention Coordinator was that the rate of suicide is highest during the months of spring—not winter like I had assumed. So although I am excited for spring because I enjoy the nice weather and the chance to work in my garden, I also think we must be vigilant of the attitudes and behaviors of those around us during the coming months, and keep an eye out for the signs of depression and/or suicide.

We have started up a Survivors After Suicide support group for people who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide. Attendance has fluctuated since the first meeting in January. Meetings are held on the third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 pm at Mental Health America of Licking County in the conference room. We welcome friends of survivors to meetings as well. During the meeting, anything that is shared is strictly confidential, and people who attend are welcome to share their stories or experiences, or not say anything at all and just listen. If childcare is a concern, please contact me, Brittany Schumann, at 740-522-1341 and we will see if we can arrange something for you.

Also, we are still collecting photographs with dates, etc. for the Suicide Prevention Quilt until June 1, 2009. You can send the photograph to us by mail and it will be returned to you within two weeks (Attn: Brittany Schumann, 65 Messimer Drive, Newark, OH 43055), or you can send photographs by email to bschumann@mhalc.org. Please feel free to include dates and/or brief quotes/memories with your photograph and we will include them on the quilt! Our hope is that this quilt will provide hope for people with thoughts of suicide that their life is worth living because people do care about them, and the lives of those who have died by suicide will be commemorated.

If you have any questions about depression, suicide, the support group or the quilt, please feel free to contact me!

--Brittany Schumann
Suicide Prevention Coordinator