My Odyssey in Mental Illness

I spent the first five years recognizing the symptoms, then the next twenty years fighting the disease and getting on with my working life, my social life and, most of all, my faith.

I wanted to work because I didn’t want to be on social security for the rest of my life and not have anything to show for it, like a home, a car and other pleasures. To strengthen my self mentally, morally and mostly spiritually, I wanted to build my faith on the wisdom of the Bible and other literature.

Then I joined Schizophrenia Anonymous and realized that I had accomplished those goals. About five years ago I received the Mental Health America Consumers of the Year award from my mentors in the Agency; and now I’m setting new goals in work, school, and faith-based endeavors to help others overcome their afflictions.

--Sam Irvin

Battle with Schizophrenia

I have a birth defect called bilateral ptosis which I was tormented by others while in school, but I learned to have faith in God to get me through the pain and it prepared me for the future battle with schizophrenia.

The battle with schizophrenia started for me as a young adult in college and my career on the railroad. It started like it always does to people. I was having delusions of grandeur then the hallucinations started—audio and visual. I was tormented by voices, I thought people were playing games with me and hardly ever got a decent night’s sleep.

I must have lived like this for five years trying to work, go to school and do volunteer work in the community, but it all came crashing down around me. I started going to counseling for depression, the more I talked, the more it was obvious I had a far larger problem. So the therapist talked me into talking to a doctor of psychiatry, Dr. Kim. He gave me a script for tranquilizers and anti-anxiety medication.

My recovery has been better than expected, I believe, because I now am working a steady job at Ohio State University as a janitor. My education has had to take a back seat to work and family commitments and I am a member of Mental Health America. It’s been the best volunteer experience to me than the railroad work I did.

To sum up, my faith in God and a positive attitude on the future have pulled me through.

--Sam Irvin

Gotta Have Faith

Schizophrenia: a mental disorder characterized by seperation between thought and emotions by delusions, bizarre behavior, etc. (Webster's)

My experience with schizophrenia was all of the above definition, and a small dose of delusions of grandeur in the mix. Unfortunately I still do have these symptoms, but, thanks to medication and therapy, I'm functioning much better.

My recovery, if you will, has also a spiritual and religious connection. Like the demoniac of the Gerasenes, I believe Jesus Christ has held my hand in recovery all through the good and bad times. And, with His help I pray for the others less fortunate than me as well.

I know many mentally ill blame God, family, and others for their disease, but with therapy, medication and, I believe, faith in something tangible, we can find recovery possible.

Sam Irvin