English is a Funny Language

English is a funny language. There's a world of difference between "going to jail" and "going to the jail." You see, I "go to the jail" twice a week to offer parenting programs. Oddly enough, it's one of the things I enjoy most about my job. The men and women I meet at the jail come to my class voluntarily, so they tend to be interested, involved, and they are some of the most appreciative people I have ever met. Mind you, I wouldn't want to stay locked up, but so far, the sentries have always let me out, so it's all good.

Back to enjoying my job. "Enjoy" isn't the right word, is it? I should have said "rewarding." It's a painful time for most of them--sometimes it's the first time they've ever been away from their children. Often they feel horrible about the effect a bad decision has had on their families, especially when an addiction is involved. And I'd bet addiction to alcohol or other drugs is involved about 80% of the time, even though the charge may not involve substance abuse. (I asked a deputy and a jail social worker to guess, too, and all 3 of us came up with 80% on the nose.)

I ask parents at the jail to fill out a short survey at the end of the workshop. One of the questions is "Because of this workshop, I plan to __________________________________." Here are a few of the answers I've gotten in the last month:

• "Talk differently to my children."
• "Change how I handle issues that arise daily in our home."
• "Be a better parent."
• "Watch my words."
• "Use the tools I learned."
• "Keep my son as a priority."
• "Positive environment, specific encouragement."
• "Be there." (Especially meaningful for someone in jail.)

And my personal favorite: "Keep going. I love it."

You don't have to go to jail to attend parenting classes. All our programs are free, although they require a reservation. We normally schedule classes on Mondays, 6-8 PM; Tuesdays, 10 AM-noon; and by appointment at other times. For example, temporarily we have a class on Thursdays 4:30-6:30 PM to accommodate a dad's schedule.

As one dad in jail said: "Be there!" But remember to call me first at 788-0300 to make a reservation. (If there's not enough registration, we may not meet.) You can also call me if you'd like to volunteer to work with parents.

--Judith Allee

Parent Support Coordinator