Something to Talk About

Something to Talk About

From Out of the darkness: Putting a face on suicide

by Frank Gluck
news-press.com

Family shame, religious views, the stigma associated with mental illness and the mistaken notion that talking about the subject will inspire others to harm themselves are major reasons the subject is not commonly discussed, prevention experts and survivors say. Some, such as Mandie Rainwater and her daughter, hope to change that.

“By not discussing it, by keeping it hidden, we don’t talk about the reasoning behind it, we don’t let the survivors deal with their survivor’s guilt in a comfortable environment,” Rainwater said. “By not talking about them, you turn them into martyrs. You don’t talk about all the problems they could have had.”

Rainwater reached out to a Fort Myers-based suicide survivor’s group, C.A.R.E.S. Prevention, in the months after her ex-husband killed himself.

Within days of doing so, C.A.R.E.S. (Community Awareness in Recognizing & Educating on Suicide) found Morgan a mental health counselor and paid for the treatment. Today, Rainwater sits on the organization’s board of directors.

For every one of the nation’s 41,000 or so known suicide deaths each year, suicide prevention experts estimate there are at least six survivors – those loved ones left behind who suffer depression, anger and other prolonged, intense feelings of loss.

Some, particularly the children of people who die by suicide, are at an increased risk of harming themselves too.

“I was hell-bent to make sure she wasn't one,” said Rainwater, who learned about her daughter’s experience with her father only after it came out in counseling. A suicide prevention activist who regularly speaks on such tragic deaths, Rainwater tears up when the subject turns to her daughter. “Milestones: 16, 18, 21, graduation. It will always be present. It’s a matter of how it’s addressed and how we deal with it.”

INFORMATION: National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255