Self Care- An area so many of us neglect

So many of us in the mental health field, whether it be prevention, education, advocacy, or treatment, spend so much time taking care of others that we forget about ourselves. We may rationalize that it would be selfish not to attend that meeting even though we haven’t gotten nearly enough sleep all week, or we may label ourselves lazy if we try to put a little more balance in our schedule instead of stretching it to the max. But these are just the kind of things we need in our lives, especially working in the field of helping others.

We need balance, sleep, and a plan for not burning ourselves out. If we continually put ourselves last (because we think we’re invincible? I’m not sure…) there will be higher likelihood of us acquiring burnout.

Some symptoms of burnout include:

• Every day is a bad day.
• Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.
• You’re exhausted all the time.
• The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.
• You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life – including your home and social life. Burnout can also cause long-term changes to your body that make you vulnerable to illnesses like colds and flu. Because of its many consequences, it’s important to deal with burnout right away.

(Symptoms from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm).

It’s important to remember that you can have these feelings not necessarily because what you are doing IS mind-numbing or a waste, but because you have neglected yourself to the point that this is just how everything FEELS.

Some ideas for self-care:

1. Learn to air your feelings.  Don't keep them bottled up inside you. Share your sorrows and disappointments with someone you trust. Remember, expressed feelings are changed feelings.
2. Avoid comparing yourself with others by admiring their gifts and ignoring your gifts.  This kind of envy causes self-disgust. Put no one's head higher than your own.
3. Form a small group of people you can call on for emotional support.  Agree to "be there" for each other. Offer advice only when it is asked for. Listen without interrupting. Take turns talking and listening.  
4. Take time to play.  Remember that play is any activity that you do just because it feels good. Remind yourself that you deserve to take time to play.
5. Don't forget to laugh, especially at yourself.  Look for the humor in things around you. Let your hair down more often. Do something silly and totally unexpected from time to time.
6. Learn to relax.  You can find books, tapes, programs, classes, instructors and other materials to teach you how to relax. Relaxation improves the mind, helps the body heal, and feels so much better than stress and tension.
7. Protect your right to be human.  Don't let others put you on a pedestal. When people put you on a pedestal, they expect you to be perfect and feel angry when you let them down.
8. Learn to say no.  As you become comfortable saying no to the unreasonable expectations, requests or demands of others you will discover that you have more compassion. When you do say yes to others, you will feel better about yourself and the people you're responding to.
9. Change jobs if you are miserable at work.  First, try to figure out if the job is wrong for you or if certain people are causing you to feel miserable at work. Try paying more attention to the things you enjoy about your job and less attention to the things that annoy you. Remember that all jobs have some unpleasant aspects.
10. Stretch your muscles.  Break a sweat. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Park farther from the door. Take the stairs. You don't need fancy clothes, club memberships or expensive equipment to add exercise to your daily life.
11. Practice being a positive, encouraging person.  Each time you give others a word of encouragement you not only feel better, but you build up your best self.
12. Pay attention to your spiritual life.  Slow down. Practice sitting quietly. Listen to your inner voice. Spend time thinking about the things which bring peace, beauty and serenity to your life. Find the courage to follow your own spiritual path if a traditional religion has not been helpful for you.

(12 suggestions from http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/take_care)

In addition to all of this, I would suggest looking up books on secondary trauma or how to prevent burnout. Please take time to think about yourself, even if just a little.

We are all in this field because we have a passion for helping others, and that is a good thing. But we must always help ourselves first, because if we don’t, we one day may not be able to help anyone else.

--Anna Hagley
PAVE Assistant Coordinator