Winter in Ohio; now 6 more weeks of winter? I used to love it – when we got real snow that was feet deep for weeks and I could go sledding or build snowmen. I remember when I was little how our neighbor built a huge snow fort with the neighborhood kids and we played in it for weeks. It was nearly the size of their house! (as I recall). And it just didn’t melt. Now I look at winter in Ohio in a whole new light. Will there be school cancellations? Can my son drive safely to his job? What’s my drive time going to be like today? Am I scheduled in a school that has a delay? (I hope, I hope!) Growing up is not all it’s cracked up to be. But I still love a good snow day!
Something else that should be on our minds in February is the whole idea of love. Sitting by a warm fire, sipping coffee, watching the snow fall and cuddling with that special someone. Valentine’s Day! Expressing the dearest and kindest of thoughts about the one (or ones) we love. It really shouldn’t just be once a year though. Just think about how we need healthy relationships with other people to survive, to feel connected, to feel like we belong This is a good time to share with others about how and why they matter to you; we could all use some extra warmth. Aside from Valentine’s Day, February is also cause to celebrate Black History Month, Relationship Wellness Month, International Boost Self Esteem Month, Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month, American Heart Month, Library Lovers Month, National Weddings Month & several more. And don’t forget President’s Day (Happy Birthday George and Abe), the Super Bowl, and now, Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
There are so many reasons to celebrate (just look online to see all types of February celebrations!), and now here comes another “awareness month”? How do we celebrate that? Teen Dating Violence? Do we really need another “awareness month”? Well Vice President Joe Biden, author of the landmark 1994 Violence Against Women Act, said this: “After fifteen years of working to end domestic violence, we have learned that teens are not immune from abuse in relationships. Teen dating violence is all too common, and ends up leading to vicious and unhealthy cycles for years to come. Our responsibility - as parents, teachers, mentors, and community leaders – is to guide our young people towards respectful relationships free from harassment and abuse; teach them that it’s ok to walk away from a bad situation; and encourage them to speak out when they see a friend in trouble. In many communities, teens themselves are leading the way in organizing their schools and communities to stand against violence. I commend them.”
I certainly hope that most teens have those wonderful memories of snow days and sledding and building a snow fort, but what about those whose most powerful memories come from their greatest fears? Studies show that one in five teenagers in a serious dating relationship report being physically abused by their partner. This issue is so serious that Ohio Governor, Ted Strickland, has signed into law House Bill 19, or the Tina Croucher Act, named for an Ohio teen who was murdered by her high school ex-boyfriend. Tina's Law requires Ohio schools to adopt a policy that prevents and addresses incidents of dating violence at school, provides staff training on dating violence prevention, and includes dating prevention education for students in 7th through 12th grade.
January was Stalking Awareness month. How convenient. From stalking to teen dating violence. What is the world coming to? We really need to be talking with our children and our young adults. This kind of violence must stop. We as the adults must model good behavior in their lives. Why would anyone think that stalking or domestic violence is okay or acceptable? If you are not sure how to have that kind of talk with your own children, please let us help you. We offer programs to children in preschool all the way through college. We talk about healthy relationships of all kinds. We also share media literacy with our county seventh graders because that’s where they get so much of their education it seems. Last year Rihanna and Chris Brown were in the headlines. Today the name is Heidi Montag and her never-ending plastic surgeries. What are we letting our children learn without talking to them about consequences or positive role models? Technology is a fabulous thing – if you know how to utilize it properly.
So maybe we can utilize this latest awareness month and the cold weather to do something really important. We can talk with our children, especially teens, about some of the violence in our lives. Do you remember families spending time together? Around the radio, then the television set, playing board games or even a Wii? There’s that whole initiative to get families to eat supper together again. We need to just talk; re-open the lines of communication. Remind ourselves and our children that love is not abuse and that love is never supposed to hurt. Can we spend time sharing healthy habits or modeling better behavior? Get those board games out again. Stop acting like you have the right to anything you want just because you want it – or her, or him – and think about that other person. Those family times together were great fun, but they also allowed us to share ideas and improve our communication skills. How can we raise awareness of issues like stalking and teen dating violence if we are afraid to talk about it? If we don’t spend time with the adults who matter to us? If we as adults, aren’t modeling better behavior? So can we listen to the words of our governor and vice president? Students need to learn about dating violence, but not by experiencing it. Through education and communication. By spending some time with friends and family that they love, students should be able to reduce violence through better behavior. By using words to describe how they are feeling instead of a fist or a threat, they can resolve conflicts more peacefully. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? Then maybe we can go back to those days of hot chocolate and snow forts, when things seemed simpler.
--Jan GreenRiver
Dir. of Prevention
PAVE Coordinator
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