GUEST BLOG: PARENTS…A Perfect Response to Substance Use Among Youth

Remember when June Cleaver was the perfect mom? How about Carol Brady? Think back to how Cliff and Clair Huxtable were the ideal parents. What made them all great? What made us tune in every night to watch their families live life? Well, beyond the fact that they lived in “TV land” and that they always solved major family catastrophes in sixty minutes or less, they were present in their children’s lives. They interacted with their kids, they had regular sit-down dinners and they were involved in their children’s daily experiences. Most importantly, they listened to their children and parented them.

Today, in the age of technology, parents are often a second thought in their children’s lives. We allow laptops, DVRs, Ipods, PS2s and Facebook to parent our children and then wonder why they make the choices they do.  We no longer talk to our kids because they have repeatedly uttered the ever so over used line “stay out of my business,” and we have been obedient parents and heeded that request. Being a parent today isn’t an easy job. We have to juggle work, family, finances, laundry, grocery shopping, sports, extra-curricular activities, parent-teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments and birthdays, not to mention being “green” cooking with organic products and protecting our children from bullies, broken hearts and bad guys. It’s TOO MUCH! and most of us do it as single parents. We listen to the “stay out of my business” line when in reality it’s the “you don’t understand, you don’t know me or what I go through” line that is more important and truer! 

According to the 2009 PRIDE survey; Licking County youth reported that they use alcohol, tobacco and other drugs at home or at a friend’s house; that alcohol is the most widely used substance and, compared to national statistics, Licking County youth have easier access to alcohol, tobacco and marijuana and less parental disapproval of use…,but here’s the good news.

Young people today crave guidance. They (secretly) want rules and they (secretly) want you to ask all those questions that publicly they are unwilling to answer.  They want you to be involved in their lives and they want you to hold them accountable for their actions and behaviors. They want you to show interest in the person they are and the person they are becoming. In short…they want you to be their parent, not their friend! The best part of it all, thanks to June Clever, Carol Brady the Huxtables and even our own parents, you already knew that! Think back to those classic TV sitcoms, they always ate dinner together as a family, the parents were always asking their kids “how was your day honey” and their children’s friends, always talked with mom and dad when coming over to the house. 

--Bobby Persinger, CIRS, OCPS II, 

Prevention Coordinator, Pathways of Central Ohio

Our guest blogger, Bobby Persinger was a founding member of our PAVE club (Prevent Assault & Violence Education) in 1997 as a 15 year old freshman at Newark High School. Today, an OSU graduate with a degree in counseling psychology, he works with youth as Prevention Coordinator 
at Pathways of Central Ohio and he credits his PAVE experience for his rewarding career choice. Bobby is a certified prevention specialist and crisis response specialist. 

GUEST BLOG: Do Labels Hurt or Help Our Children? You Be the Judge

Parents of children with invisible, or hidden, disabilities often struggle with many aspects of parenting. Not only do they have to maneuver through medical, educational and family situations (usually with no prior experience), but they also ponder the question of whether to label or not to label. If the disability is severe enough, a label seems like the kind thing to do. A title explains why Johnny can't read, can't sit still, can't do math and so on. It affords children the help that they need to succeed.

These words can open the doors to rights through the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) and Civil Rights Section 504. A diagnostic code, or category, allows insurance agencies to authorize (or not) payment for treatment. One is often backed into the corner and rendered helpless without all of these things.

One worries whether labeling Johnny as bipolar, ADHD or schizophrenic will create more stigma. They wonder if someday Johnny will outgrow this.

In an ideal world, people would recognize that Johnny might not be able to read, but he can work circles around kids in the math class, dance and sing and paint masterpieces.

Teachers would be able to teach to small groups of children with all kind of skill levels; grandparents would love every grandchild the same; parents would have a magic wand to wave over their child and make him or her absolutely capable in every category, doctors would have a magic solution to every mental health problem.

Until we get our magic wands, my wish is for parents to feel confident that they are doing the best that they can, using the tools that are available in hopes that tomorrow will be a better day. Our best is all we have to give.

Guest blogger today is Rebecca Randall, a family member who volunteers as facilitator for the Epilepsy Support Group that meets, 6:30 p.m., on the 4th Thursday of the month at the OSU/COTC Warner Library. Becky is the mother of two adult daughters, and was a longtime volunteer with MHA, facilitating a CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder) support group that met for 11 years in Newark. Becky is also former Coordinator of the Pathways Crisis Hotline and Information Center and a former Crisis Response Specialist. 

The 20th Anniversary of ADA

This week, we celebrate the 20th Anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).The ADA is a broad civil rights law designed to provide a clear and comprehensive national mandate for the elimination of discrimination against individuals with disabilities. Like the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, and gender, the ADA seeks to ensure equal opportunity for people with disabilities. It does not guarantee equal results, establish quotas, or require preferences favoring individuals with disabilities over those without disabilities.

When people think about the ADA, they think about removal of physical barriers with ramps and curb cuts. In its first twenty years, the ADA has made advances in starting to remove these physical obstacles. After twenty years, we have still not achieved even the federally mandated physical accommodations. Now, as we face the future, we need to eliminate other, more pervasive barriers-the stigma and discrimination that prevent social integration.

Has the ADA eliminated discrimination against individuals with disabilities? No. It has provided a valuable tool for responding to some forms of discrimination. There are many who opposed the ADA, just as there are still those who oppose the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

I have a “non-visible” disability, which makes it possible for me to “pass” in many situations, but, despite the passage of the ADA, in these last two decades, I have experienced discrimination in employment, healthcare and other areas of my life.

I am a person who experiences severe and persistent mental illness. I will not be cured. Although I am an advocate for recovery, I am not “in recovery” from my brain. I cannot abstain from “being bipolar“, as one abstains from substance addiction behaviors. I am not defined by my illness, but it is a prism, through which I experience the world. This is a fundamental part of who I am, as much as my ethnic heritage. It is a biologically-based disease, like diabetes. I did not survive it, as some survive breast cancer. If I had breast cancer, I would receive substantially better health care and support services.

Most people who experience mental illness are afraid to publicly disclose their illness. Stigma keeps them “closeted” for fear of rejection by family and friends, isolation or firing at their workplace, and discrimination in participating in politics, recreation, housing, religion or in self-determination. Despite civil rights legislation and the public disclosures of many famous people who experience mental illness, this discrimination is commonplace.

Today, we celebrate the civil rights landmark of the ADA, but it is only the first step in achieving true equality. For more information, go to http://www.ada.gov/ for the most comprehensive referral site for information on all aspects of the ADA.

--Kristen Frame
Compeer Coordinator

PORTION DISTORTION, part 3

Have you ever noticed antique dishware and the like at flea markets? And how tiny they are compared to today's dishware? Those itty bitty juice glasses represent portions of the past.

Our cultural perception of what a "portion" is has become a, um, big problem. A study of 52 famous paintings of the Last Supper shows that plate size--and portion size--has gradually grown over the last 1000 years. They measured how big the plates were compared to the average head size in the painting. Here's the article.

On-line I found (but didn't buy) a portion control plate designed by the "Portion Doctor." It's cute: half the plate is mapped out for veggies, a quarter (a serving about the size of a deck of cards) is designated for meat, beans, tofu, cheese, or other protein source, and the other quarter is for carbs. But grandma's plates, which were closer to the size of what's now a dessert plate, work fine.

Reality check: I'm talking about my grandma's plates. I'm a grandma myself now, but my plates are *way* bigger than my head. OK, that's disturbing.

--Judith Allee
Parent Support Coordinator

PORTION DISTORTION, part 2

I have to work at eating 5 to 8 servings of fruit and veggies a day. Some days I get 1 or 2. Occasionally, none. However, due to portion distortion, 5 to 8 servings isn't as much as it sounds. A couple of pieces of fresh fruit in the morning. (Or one large banana, which counts as 2 servings.) I generally pile half my lunch plate with veggies; that's about 3 servings right there. Add eight ounces of V-8 with dinner: bingo, I'm up to 7 servings (4 oz. per V-8 serving).

It doesn't happen, though, unless I plan for it. And it won't happen at all on a dollar drive-through menu or at the snack machine. I'm finding, though, that veggies cost less than fast food, and, believe it or not, I've come to enjoy them more. Honest!

Focusing on eating *enough* fruit and veggies keeps me from awakening my rebellious inner-adolescent, who wants to feed my face with both hands if I focus too much on *not* eating too much junk food. Heaven forbid if I even whisper the word d-i-e-t. Shhh.

--Judith Allee
Parent Support Coordinator